american boy...

yes, my american boy is back to haunt me. if u remember, after i broke up with my ex i met C, the american boy (cute, polite, Harvard student, blue eyes, lovely). since day one i had a huge crash on him but he was clear: the distance factor was too important and he was not ready to invest time and energy in a long distance relationship. obviously, as an argentinean i sometimes make a soap opera of things, and i thought that if we were supposed to be together we would be. he came couple of times to visit me, i met him on Istanbul once, etc. last time we met (march) we agreed that he was coming to Tel Aviv for his b-day to spend it with me and i was going to NY for mine in december to spend it with him. on june i got a message from him on Facebook congratulating me on my diploma and stuff and remind me he was coming in august. couple of days after that he uploaded pics of him with his new BF. i decided to delete him from my friends list right away. i decided i can't waste my energy in negative stuff and he was really hurting me.
last thursday was his b-day, so after giving it a thought i decided to send him a message. he answered me right away saying he was in Israel and he would like to see me.
since then i'm in a roller coaster, i want to see him , sure...but i don't want him to leave me so sad and hurt as last time. i don't have any hope now, i know he doesn't want me in any way (well, maybe just for sex when he is here), and it hurts cause i worth so much more than him, even without the Harvard education and his fancy lawyer office in NY, but i'm an honest and caring guy and i don't want to be played like a kid.
i guess i won't push anything this time, but i won't hide either. i'll keep going out to gay places in tel aviv (i'm pretty sure i'll find him around the city any day now) and i'll stand with my head high, trying not to fall for those blue eyes. i'll try my best not to give him the place to hurt me again and we'll see.
cross ur fingers for me...

diver...

yep, the australian diver Matthew Mitcham, took the gold medal in men's 10m platform. Matthew is the only openly gay male athlete in Beijin's Olympic Games. he is really cute, and even though i like more mature men, i wouldn't throw him out of my bed in a lonely and cold winter night.







regarding my personal life... as my Japanese friend R says: "same shit, different toilette"...i ended up things with L, it was just not it for me. so last night went out with a friend...and yes, israeli men are still as beautiful as stupid.

situation summary...

so, right now this is where things are standing:
- L is totally in love (in less than a week we know each other and after only one date). texted me last night saying he was dying to see me...it seems not so much cause when i invited him over he never answered (this morning told me he fell asleep). it seems i'm not so much into him cause in other case i would have leave everything in a second.
- S: after 2 text messages that he never answered, sent him a message on Facebook. i told him that i'm not into games, i can understand if he is not into me, but i want things clear. he answered me saying that he was sorry he is having a very busy week and that he really had a good time with me but is not sure he can be in any relationship right now (?) and he didn't want to hurt me. told him that he is not hurting me...we only had one date, but i'm a kind of person who goes with the truth and i'm very open about my feelings, if i like u, i'll let u know. no games, no shit. also told him that if he clears things up, he can give me a call...no answer to that yet, and i doubt there will be.
- i met a guy last monday in a pub. we talked a lot and it was nice, exchanged telephone numbers. he looked for me in Atraf (the israeli version of Gaydar or Manhunt). last night he asked me if i had plans for the night...i said i did not...i'm still waiting for an answer.

Israeli men are beautiful, no doubt about it, but their beauty can only be compared with the degree of craziness they have and the incapability to express any kind of feelings. i'm starting to think about becoming a lesbian.

after the date...

so I met S last night. my friends call him "G 2.0" (being G1 my ex)...it seems they look really alike. at the beginning i thought it was kind of freaky, but actually that's the kind of guy i like (blond, blue or green eyes, older than me, etc.). we had a beer and a very relaxed chat, but very different from L (the guy I met on Friday). With L the talk was more intimate, about personal stuff, our ex's, being out of the closet, family, etc. while with S it was more of a chit chat (a very flirtatious one). after an hour he said he needed to leave, since he was waking up at 6am. i was a little disappointed since i wanted to last longer, we walked couple of meters on the street and he said he needed to go on the opposite direction. i was pretty sure it was about it, specially when he shook my hand and say it was nice to meet me. but then he looked at me and asked "we are talking again right?", so that made me think that maybe he was into me too (i hope he is). i thought that shaking hands was kind of weird, specially after his comment that i took as a "i like u, do u like me?". so i kissed him on the chick.
while L seems a really good guy and has shown he is into me, he looks very young, he is thin, not much body hair...in the other hand S is just my type and i'm feeling like a teen thinking about him, if i should or shouldn't call, if one day is enough, if he was interested or just wanted to be polite... ohhh, i suck in these dating thing.

update: i just arrived to the office, after a two hours sleep and a looot of beers and i want to share with you that Israeli men are scum.

tired...

weekends are starting to look the same...lost of booze and smoking, almost not sleeping and wasting a lot of money... this weekend was no exception, though i meet a cute guy. we had a date like for 2 hours, it is funny he works in SEO like me (and that's not very common). that same night i met him by chance in the same disco i was with my friends. of course i said hi and we talked a little bit, after a while his friend came over and told me "i'm L's friend...he has been talking about u all night long...he is a great guy, so be careful and don't hurt him". it was a weird moment (specially after the first date). later on L came to say he was leaving and asked me to text him when I'm done there, so i did and he invited me to sleep with him. i said to myself...well, i have nothing to lose, he is cute (not really my type since i like older guys and he is not only my age, but looking younger) and probably i'll get laid, so why not... i came over and we actually slept, well at least for a while. i got back home at 1pm and slept most of the day...until my friends invited my to the beach to have some beers. what can i say? it is hard for me to say no when it comes to fun.

so bored...

i'm sitting here in my office, so bored i could die! i-m so bored that i'm checking who clicked YES on my on Facebook's "Are you interested" application (and i'm getting a lot of yeses but most of them are from the states, australia and europe...mmm)...
i even started to think about my old city of Cordoba, in Argentina...i miss it so much sometimes. i mean, i absolutely love Tel Aviv, but Cordoba will always have a place in my heart (i mean, i was born there and left at the age of 22). i miss thursdays evening, on spring, having beers with friends, or a winter saturday night, before going out to dance and thinking what to wear. i miss the summer storms, when suddenly the sky goes black and wind starts to blow...it seems like the world is ending. and the smells of the city (Tel Aviv smells like pee) and the food...i miss a good "lomito" at Beto's (lomito is a sandwich with meat, ham, cheese, eggs, lettuce, tomato, mayo, i'm drooling on my keyboard).

I don't understand how this post started being about men and ended up being about food...i guess they are both yummy!

weekend report...

it is sunday and i'm back to work...but the weekend was good! meeting friends, drinking a lot (everything from caipirinha, beers, martini's and vodka)... i went to this party for gay guys 28+ expecting to see some cute guys (instead of being full of guys age 28+ they were all 50+...yewww). yesterday i had a date with this cute guy, actually it was our second date (the first was like 4 months ago but for some weird reason we never talked again). so we were having ice cream and i met my ex in the street...most uncomfortable moment ever! i introduced them and told my ex i had to go. of course, i was so shocked for all this that i couldn't keep going with the day and i wasn't feeling him very excited about it either, so we ended up things in the street and went separate ways. when i got home my ex called me to know who was the guy, i didn't want to hurt him so i said just a friend (actually, there is no big date between just a friend and a second date).
i was sitting in my apartment thinking: 2nd date, being gay, and not even kissing...it is like BAD! i consider myself really shy, but i always have sex in the first date (i guess that being shy does not mean i'm not a whore). so i send the guy an sms and invited him over to see a movie or something, and he accepted...we started to "watch" the first Batman and nothing was happening...i said to myself "i know i'm slow, but man, help me a little bit here i inivted u to come over, i'm obviously interested"...so i put my hand on the coach, near his lap and then he grabbed it and in no time we were making out...it was nice, i haven't been like that in a long time (some 6 months or so)...we'll see how it works out now...i'll keep you updated.

wow!!!

las night i went with a friend to Lima-Lima. i was in those days when you feel fat and ugly...not my best. besides, when i was going back home i met my ex on the street. i felt really happy to see him, we actually hugged in the middle of the street like two old friends that haven't met in a long time (actually only one month). we talked a little bit and while leaving him behind i realized that i'm moving on, finally i feel that i'm getting over him. of course i can't say i don't love him anymore, it is stupid, i do love him but i've finally understood that the best thing for us is to go different ways.
so feeling better about my ex i went out...it was really crowded and it is so hot in tel aviv right now that it was too much, so we sat in the bar outside and i was surprised of all the looks i was getting, this guy even come over and said to me the only two words in Spanish he knew wishing it would make me think he was cute (well, i usually think that israelis saying "hola" to me, are kind of lame).
so the party was nice, but after two beers i had to go to the rest-room...and then i saw HIM...i won't say his name but he is a really famous singer. kind of cute, but not my ideal man...though he is famous and you know us gays...in that moment someone pushed me and i ended up couple centimeters from each other i felt i was melting, this famous guy can have anyone in this party and he is looking at me, like that! we were flirting all night long and he invited me a beer, we chatted a little but i had to leave. i know he has a BF and they are in an open relationship, and i wasn't really into that...of course when i got home i wanted to kill myself for being such an idiot! but i want to believe it all happened for a reason...(if i don't think that way i'll jump from my office's window right now).

men kissing...

i've just seen a post in a very good Spanish gay blog I read (Ambiente G). in this post they talk about straight actors and gay kisses. from the whole selection they made i leave you here the ones i like the most and the reason i like them:

- Ledger and Gyllenhaal: the kiss is so intense and real, it reminds me of me and my ex when we saw the movie...

- Kline and Selleck: i remember when i saw this movie, it was my b-day and the movie theater was full...in the moment they kissed all the people shouted "yeeeew" at the same time. i couldn't understand why, it was so cool (my mom and bro were also there and i guess they also shouted with the crowd).

- Collin Farrell: I haven't seen this movie, actually the other guy looks kind of geeky. in any case, i never liked Farrell, but after seeing his home sex video on the web...i like him more ;)
- Banderas and Poncela: this Almodovar's movie is 20years old...amazing that he put that in a mainstream movie and those two looked hot back then...

- Knoller and Levi: Yossi and Jagger was the first israeli movie i saw...it was a week after i arrived here and i didn't understand any of the dialogs... but i cried like a little girl in the end. if u have the chance to see it, don't miss it.