Chup-Chup's Blog II

robbie and gary...

2010-09-01T13:21:00.001+03:00

i have almost no memories of Take That, except for one song or two. i always liked Robbie Williams, but I only knew him after Angels. Gary Barlow didn't say much to me up until now. they both have this new song and video, very Brokeback Mountain and hot. for all of us who want to see robbie, finally out of the closet it is a great clip (i wouldn't mind to see gary out of the closet either, the boy is hot!).

here is the pic of the song and scroll down for the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv49bC5xGVY

well, well...

2010-07-27T19:35:00.005+03:00

i haven't posted in months, but things have been really crazy around here...a little summary:

-i got fired from work (or laid off as they like to say)...i've never been so happy!

-i flew back to Argentina after 3 years of not coming back home to visit my family

-been to Madrid visiting my brother and his GF

-i met a guy and we have been together for 3 months...super excited about it

-we went together to Greece and had an amazing time!

so that's pretty much it, and here u have some pics:

dry your eyes mate...

2010-02-09T09:55:00.002+02:00

yesterday was my ex's b-day. i left him a present at his door (i know it sounds pathetic). we love each other very much, but for many reasons we can't be together.

this song from "the streets" reminds me of us.

12 reasons why...

2010-02-07T10:41:00.002+02:00

Here you have 12 reasons why gay marriage should be illegal:

-Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

-Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

-Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

-Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

-Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

-Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

-Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

-Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

-Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

-Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.

-Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

Source: David Dust

greetings and more...

2009-12-28T14:56:00.002+02:00

as you know my life is a big latin soap opera...just when you thought it was getting bored, something happens to spice things up. couple of weeks ago i started to date a really cute and interesting guy, very sensitive, fun to talk to, etc...but as dates went by i saw him getting more and more flamboyant...a total queen...so i have to decide if to be a good guy and give him a chance or to be totally shallow and let him go before i hurt him...mean while, the guy i dated couple of months ago called me again, invited me for dinner and of course we eneded up doing it...big mistake, now that i told him in the clearest way possible i don't want to be with him, he wants me back...thank g-d is not going to happen, i'm positive about it.
but u know, i needed something else to make things more interesting...during the weekend a guy contacted me through a gay israeli datin site (Atraf Dating). he is an american (and you know americans do it for me) working for the UN (big turn on) in Sudan!!! but he is coming to israel, exactly on the dates i'll be abroad...so we r not going to meet and yet we have spent 8hs during the last 2 days talking on MSN...life is so cruel sometimes...

besides those personal stories i wanted to wish you all a happy new year!!!! i'm leaving tomorrow to Madrid, to join my brother and spend New Year's Eve and my b-day in London...it's gonna be cold and fun! i won't be able to post during these days, but as soon as i get the chance i'll post some pics...Happy New Year people!!!

a single man...

2009-12-20T09:48:00.002+02:00

i went last night to see Tom Ford's "A Single Man", based on Christopher Isherwood's book of the same name. it tells the story of George, a gay English teacher who has recently lost the love of his life...all the action happens during a day in George's life, the day he decides is his last.
i had a lot of expectations about the movie and was looking forward to it and i was blown away...the film is a piece of art, every scene is just beautiful, the photography, the music, the actors, the music...just pure and sad beauty.
i'm always jealous of talented people and Tom Ford is one talented bastard...plus he is H-O-T!
if you have the chance to go to see this movie, do it...

2009-12-17T09:28:00.001+02:00

it seems there is always someone in a worst situation than ours. look at this guy living in Manhattan...and i thought my apartment was small and expensive.

sick...

2009-12-15T10:16:00.002+02:00

i've been sick for like 3 weeks...at the beginning i had a throat infection...two weeks at home with antibiotics, fun, fun, fun. last week i was feeling fine, so I went back to them gym, going out, getting drunk and all...it seems by body wasn't ready for that cause now i'm sick again, but this time it is a common cold. i'm having all kinds of vitamins and stuff now to get better and not to be sick again. i don't want anything to ruin my trip to Madrid and London for New Years and my b-day...i'm looking forward to have some time off and see my brother and, of course, to go shopping: H&M, Zara, Uniqlo...here I come.

so true...

2009-11-30T23:19:00.003+02:00

20 Reasons You Can't Believe What You Read in an Internet Profile
1. I'm a total top.Translation : For $200 more you can fuck my brains out.
2. I'm not into kink.Translation : I'm into some sick shit that would make you run screaming from the room if I told you what it was.
3. I'm not looking for a relationship.Translation : My boyfriend doesn't know I'm fucking around on him.
4. I work out five times a week.Translation : I go to the gym twice a week; the other three times I'm working out my low self-esteem issues with my shrink.
5. I'm str8 and curious.Translation : I've been fucked... a lot.
6. I'm 25 and very boyish.Translation : I'm pushing 40.
7. I'm relationship oriented.Translation : My fucking boyfriend is cheating on me.
8. I'm horse hung.Translation : It's just slightly bigger than the average dick, but if I light the bedroom just the right way, you will think it's huge.
9. I'm a total bottom.Translation : I'm a total bottom.
10. I give a great massage!Translation : And if you want 'release' that will be $75 extra.
11. I like to get freaky!Translation : Do you have a boyfriend I can fuck?
12. I love watching old movies.Translation : I am a new Falcon exclusive.
13. I'm very versatile.Translation : Oh God! I wanna get fucked so bad!
14. My dick is always rock hard.Translation : The Viagra is stashed under the bathroom sink.
15. I'm not an escort.Translation : I prefer the term "companion".
16. Hot guy with a six-pack.Translation : If you drink an entire six pack, you might think I'm hot.
17. I have a thing in uniforms.Translation : I've been incarcerated.
18. I'm hung very thick.Translation : My dick is small.
19. No models, actors or waiters.Translation : I want a sugar daddy!
20. Not into cyber chat.Translation : I'm stupid and can make conversation.

australia...

2009-11-19T11:39:00.003+02:00

so after a month and a half, my mom got back to Argentina...i really love her but after so long at my apartment I had unfulfilled "needs" to be taken care of. so soon after she left, i closed some dates i have pending. the first one was with an Israeli guy who was starting to date someone so I had to convince him it was ok to meet since they were just starting ;) the violet hickeys he left on my neck, the little bastard, it took like five days until i was ok to go without a scarf. of course he wants to meet again, but i don't think is gonna happen.
on monday, just by chance, i met a really cute Australian doctor, he is in Tel Aviv visiting his family. u all know how it works, couple of drinks here, a lot of kisses there...we are meeting again tonight.
and last night, i finally met another Australian, that I actually met through this blog. he is studying here in Israel but in the south of the country so up until now, we never met...i had a great time with him in every sence ;)
so because of this coincidence i've decided to declare Australia's week! if you ever have the chance to be with an Australian, I strongly recommend it: they are sweet, polite, cute and good kissers...what else can you ask?

summary...

2009-11-03T09:55:00.002+02:00

i know i've disappeared for more than a month...it seems that when everything is fine i write less and when drama comes back, knocking at my door, i need to write.
this last month has been really hectic, my mom is visiting from Argentina, so i work hard, go back home and try to do fun stuff with her. it is always hard to spend time together, it feels too intensive sometimes and i'm used to be by myself a lot, so having someone telling me to eat, what to wear, to take a coat, etc...it's not easy. i feel like killing her many times, and when i think that she is leaving next week i'm so sad.
regarding my love life, after two months of great relationship i got my ass kicked...he says he is depressed and doesn't know what he wants from life...he should go back to take his happy pills, if you ask me. so it is a bitter sweet feeling, i liked him a lot, but i don't want to get in a troubled relationship again...so, i'm back to being single.
next week, after my mom leaves, i have to start looking for an apartment, a new job (i'm sick and tired of mine already) and a new BF...exciting and exhausting at the same time.

die Basterd...

2009-09-23T10:09:00.002+03:00

ohhh G-d...i went to see Inglourious Basterds last night and looooved it. i usually don't care much on who directed...i mean, a Tarantino's movie is not 100% a great movie, same as a Cohen brothers' movie is not always great (I hated No country for old men...i fell asleep twice). regrading Tarantino, I really liked Kill Bill (I and II), but didn't love Pulp Fiction or Reservoire Dogs...but Inglouriuos is one of the movies I liked. the idea of making a Western Spagetthi placed in the Second World War is amazing and crazy, the music, the photography and the whole idea of a Jewish gang terrorizing Hitler's army is great! i won't get into details not to spoil ur experience but if you like seeing Nazi ass being kicked big time, you HAVE to see this movie.

wild night...

2009-09-21T13:56:00.002+03:00

this Jewish New Year celebrations were wild! i went to a party with some friends and i think that 5 people could have been drunk with the alcohol I had that night. i actually don't remember much, so most of my stories are either flashes or things my friends told me. according to them i had around 6 vodka red bulls and 6 or 7 beers, i danced like crazy (even taking my shirt off), i was really popular between the people there. i'm still getting text messages from guys i don't even remember, asking me out, telling me i'm a great kisser, or that i'm sexy...i have in my phone's memory numbers and names of people I don't know. yesterday, while walking on the street a guy came over and told me we met at the party and reminded me to call him to meet, i obviusly don't remember his name.
it is not the first time i drink like this, but it is certainly the first time i totally lose it...but i had a lot of fun! i whish me and all of you many wild nights this coming year! happy new jewish year!

today...

2009-09-15T10:00:00.002+03:00

today i want to disappear, to get in a plane and go away (i can't even think where would i go to, just to leave)...i can't stand my friends, my job (specially that stupid bitch i have for boss), my co-workers, this city and even myself...i want to vanish now!

ooops...

2009-09-07T09:47:00.002+03:00

yes, i did it again...i'm weak, i know. i was helping my friend to pick some shoes and i saw them...i've been wanting a Creative Recreation pair of sneakers since I discovered this American company. in general they are around USD100 and since I have so many sneakers I never wanted to pay that much...until yesterday i saw them, they were so cheap cause it was the last pair...and i couldn't hold myself. look at them, beautiful right (although not comfortable at all...but u know, we are talking about shoes here, they have to be beautiful, not comfortable).

no words...

2009-09-02T11:42:00.005+03:00

last night i went to Madonna's show in Tel Aviv...no words can explain what i witnessed. i know i haven't been to many shows as this one, but i believe that after last night, no show can do better than Madonna's Sticky and Sweet Tour. 60 thousand Israelis arrived to Park Hayarkon to see the Queen of Pop, doors opened at 5.30 and while waiting for her to take the stage Paul Oackenfold did his thing (with all the respect, he could have just stayed home and let any FM station put the music). With a delay of 40 minutes (according to some sources she was doing her yoga before going on stage), she appeared and the magic started. i saw her 5cm high, but for some reason i couldn't help to be freaken excited to see one of the pop culture icons of the last 25 years. and boy, that byatch was fierce! song afater song, dancing non stop, and not even getting tired! one of the first highlights of the night came when she said "sing with me motherfuckers!"...we lost our shit with that...actually, everytime she said something to the crowd we all went crazy. song after song, when you believed "that was it", the highest moment of the show, something else happened proving you wrong. "u must love me" in an acoustic version was followed by a short speach were she apologyzed for not performing in Israel for 16 years, "4 minutes" with a virtual Justin Timberlake came and went, but when she started to play Ray of Light on her guitar and ordered us to jump, hell broke loose...i never jumped and shouted so hard in my life...it was heaven (at least gay heaven). she finished the show before the last show of the Sticky and Sweet Tour singing "Get Stupid", and when she grabbed the Israeli flag, we lost it again big time...it was hysterical. suddenly, while she was saying bye, we saw tha one of the dancers was actually Lourdes, her daughter who hugged her until lights went off and a big "Game Over" sign, blinked on the screens.
one of the most amazing experiences EVER!

Thank you Ynet for the pics.

the tourist guide...

2009-08-16T11:26:00.002+03:00

couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine, who studied Hebrew with me when I first came to Israel, contacted me on my Facebook. a good friend of hers, was coming to Israel for a week, and being the only gay she knows here, she asked me if i could recommend some places to go out. as i always like to meet new people, tourists visiting (cause you never know when you can need a host abroad) i told her to ask him to contact me directly, i could give him some tips and maybe he could join me and my friends for a night out. i think there is nothing harder than going out alone to a gay bar when you are abroad, so i invited him to join me.
we agreed on a time and a place. i was sooo tired after a family dinner that thought about cancelling, but he texted me saying he was arriving soon to the meeting point so it was to late. i was running late, and he texted me saying he was inside of the bar having a beer so i could take my time. i arrived and found him right away, he was very nice, polite, a med student and foreigner...i would lie if i say i felt instantly attracted to him, but i thought he was cute. after having some drinks at Evita, the tel avivian gay pub "par excellence", i took him to the -1, an underground disco where the music is so loud you can hardly hear your thoughts...as i was so full after dinner and those beers didn't help, he showed me a drink called "Jägerbomb" (a shot of Jäger in a glass of Red Bull)...it certainly blew my head, it was crazy! after a few of those and the flirting that was going on between us i went for it and kissed him...we eneded up at my place, until 10.30am...best sex in many months!
after he left, i had a shower and met D for brunch. she was waiting for the previous night stories, but she was suprised about this one. we had eggs benedict and some mimosas...i'm so tired now.

rally...

2009-08-09T12:47:00.003+03:00

last night was the rally in favor of tolerance and against homophobia in tel aviv. the rally was our way to react to the terrible killings of last week.
this week was not easy, all what happened last saturday made me really sad: those poor kids found in that center a shelter, a place where they could be understood and feel free to be gay without being judged...until last week's attack.
in last night event participated politicians (including Israel's president, Shimon Peres), artists, victims and more. there were speaches and music, many of Israel's most loved artists such as Ivri Lider, Rita, Dana International and more, performed their hits in a very sad night. according to police reports, more than 25,000 people came together last night aat Rabin's Square (the place where the former Prime Minister was killed during a rally for peace in 1995). it was a very emotional night, full of sad moments and the hope that this won't ever happen again.

sad day...

2009-08-02T10:35:00.002+03:00

last night, at around 10.30pm, a sick SOB entered a meeting for teens organized by the GLTB Israeli Organization, and opened fired against the people there. 6 are seriously wounded and 2 were killed (one 26yo guy and a 17yo girl)...after this the murderer ran away to the gay pub Evita (the most famous and crowded of the city) and tried to repeat his crazy act. fortunately, the security people didn't allow him to get in and he ran away. he is still missing.
these all happened 1 block from my apartment.
today, the bubble we live in tel aviv, burst...it is a sad day.

meow...

2009-07-29T13:22:00.002+03:00

4am, after a loooong day where the temperature reached the 41 degrees and humidity 90% (it was damn hot!). i was sleeping with the fan on (i don't like to sleep with the A/C)...i heard something and turned the light on...after a sec i thought "it may be a dream, go back to sleep". went back to bed and fell asleep...two minutes later i heard noises again and freaked out, it was no dream there was something in the apartment...i woke up to find two cats playing in my living room! one of them visited me once, my brother named him Beto. so it seems little Beto really liked my home cause he brought a friend to play with.
and yes, i was awake, it was no dream...it was a totally surrealistic situation but not a dream. i closed the window, turn on the fan again and went to bed.

UP...

2009-07-26T10:52:00.002+03:00

last night i went to see my first 3D movie...and it was amazing! i remember seeing once images of people watching 3D movies, with the big glasses and moving the hands to touch the screen..."morons" i thought to myself. well, i just joined the moron's club cause i was one of them last night. starting with the trailers of the coming soon movies i realized this was going to be a great experience (btw, i'm totally waiting for Toy Story 3). i felt like a child, surrounded by a lot of other "children" amazed by the images going out of the screen: a snow flake flying in front of me, a plane coming to get me...i even covered my head thinking it was really coming my way.
reagarding the movie, as most of Pixar pictures, it is more fun for the grown ups than for the children...it touched me in so many ways! amazing movie, music, idea, everything...being the big crying baby i am, i couldn't stop myself and cried like a baby, together with the rest of the people around me...if your eyes don't get wet, at least, with UP you are a cold robot.
it was an amazing experience, if you have the chance to catch the movie, do it, you won't regret it.

psb...

2009-07-23T11:16:00.005+03:00

i went to the Pet Shop Boys show in Tel Aviv and it was awesome! there is not much i can say about the show cause you can't explain it with words: the art work in the back, the music, the wardrobe...just amazing and tasteful.
i've been listening to the new disc for a couple of weeks to get ready to the show and even thouhg there are many songs there that i love (love etc, around the world, if u see me coming)...i can't deny that my heart just jumped when they sang Go West and It's a Sin. they also did a voer of Coldplay's Viva la vida, amazing!
at the beginning i was really close of the stage, but not really having fun, it was crowded and i couldn't really appreciate the show...but for the second part i went to the back, where you could see the stage and people were dancieng and singing...it was great!
now i have to wait for Madonna in a month and 7 days (but who is counting, ah?).

friend's day

2009-07-20T10:31:00.002+03:00

today is Friend's Day back in Argentina...and today I need my friends so much. i mean, i have a lot of good friends here, but i miss those across the ocean, those that are still there even though the distance and time separated us...
so many things are wrong today, my ex reappearing in my life, my job, many other things i'm dealing with right now...

at least i have this clip of the guy in the new Harry Potter's movie (Freddie Stroma), dancing for me to cheer me up...

visit...

2009-07-15T15:08:00.002+03:00

i'm slowly going crazy here. maybe because i've been single for almost 2 years and i really want not to, maybe because i hate my job and i need a vacation ASAP or maybe because Tel Aviv is one of the hottest places on Earth right now...i'm just going nuts.
regarding the being single, there is not much i can do but to keep trying. my awful job is stable enough to allow me to pay my rent and have a normal life, besides this is not the best moment to switch jobs. tel aviv being hotter than hell right now...well, i go from the office to the mall, from the mall to the gym, and then home...any place with AC is good enough. but the vacation thing is not going to happen. i was planning to surpise my mom for her b-day and going to Argentina, but she told me couple of weeks ago she wants to come in September instead of December as previously planned.
yesterday i was really tired, 32 degrees and 70% humidity at 10pm, i had a looong day cause i went out on Monday and i just needed to sleep. i decided not to go to the gym and take a nap instead. i woke up not knowing where was I, what time it was, nothing. it took me like 10min to understand what was going on. i woke up and checked my computer, my mom was on MSN and asked me to take a look at her itinerary...i red it slowly checking dates, flying companies, connections, etc. i got to the arrival date, September 29th...departure date...November 11th!!!! i didn't know how to react. i love my mom and i love having her at my place, but my sexual and love life is pretty dead as it is, having my mom for a month and a half will not help at all...i'll be hardly able to touch myself!
knowing her being sensitive to some stuff, i knew i couldn't tell her "1 month and a half is a lot!!!"...so i told her "you know i'll probably kill you before we reach the month and a half right?"...to what she shamlessly answered: "oh, c'mon, it is not a month and a half"...
well, in my little world, a month and 13 days sounds pretty much as a month and a half!
i will be like survivor, the one who reaches the end, wins.

double date...

2009-07-12T11:09:00.002+03:00

weekend started with a roof party at a brazilian's co-worker. beers, bisli, cheese cake, cava and lambrusco. the roof was in front of the sea so it was amazing. we all escaped from work early to see the dusk from the roof.
on friday i went to Hilton Beach (Tel Aviv's gay beach)...it was so crowded! i couldn't even walk. of course it was packed with gays, all in speedos and great bodies...i felt fat.
after the beach i went to Bruno with some friends, the movie is fun, but nothing new...it's just Borat's gay version...
yesterday i met up with a girl who went to school with me, from kindergarden all the way until we finished high school. she's been living in israel for 6 years, but just moved to Tel Aviv few months ago. after that i runned to my date, the guy was nice and very sweet but the pics he had in Atraf were really old, he admited he is totally broke and sent me many text messages after our date...nothing turns me off like poor and desperate.
i got home at around 9.30, and this other guy i've been talking to invited me to meet...so, yes, tow dates in one night...i'm a whore (actually i'm not cause i didn't have sex with any of them).
second date was not good either. and i also got text messages of 2nd guy...i have to figure out the way to tell them it is no go without being a bitch.
i'd change all those stupid dates, for one interesting one.

broken hugs...

2009-07-05T15:35:00.002+03:00

so yesterday i went with my friend D to the new Almodovar's movie (actually not that new since it was playin while i was in Madrid last April). even though i'd heard some cold reviews about the film, i was really excited to get to see it. in general, i like his movies, but i'm not crazy about them...except All About my Mother, a movie that moves me to tears each and every time i see.
we met with D at 4.45pm in Lev (in the Dizzengof Center). in this movie theather you can always see less commercial and more "intelectual" movies. the movie was at 5 and we expected the place to be empty since it is summer here and it was terribly hot. obviuosly i'd underestimated Almodovar, cause the place was packed...really, it was hard to walk. in assistance some Israeli "stars" like Eytan Fox and his husband Gal Uchovsky (creators of many of the most famous Israeli gay themed movies including "Yossi and Jagger", "Walk on water" and "The Bubble"). suddenly someone shouts Gal's name...it was Rita! (THE israeli gay icon)...even me, not an israeli got totally shocked by that show...and in a place crowded by gays.
back to the movie, i really liked it. i got everything i expected from the Almodocar experience: the text, the picture, the music, the colour red in every frame of the film. it was supposed to be a drama, as all his movies, but there were some funny dialogs in this movie...in one of the final scenes it was so funny I started crying.
i totally recommend the film.

the zebra...

2009-07-03T18:56:00.003+03:00

it's been a week and i'm still a zebra. i'm not talking about the Chinese horoscope or about a previous life...no. since my last time at the beach last week i'm all taned, but when i take off my shirt you can see white stripes on my chest and arms. i don't know if the sun is crazy because of the environmental problems, if the sun screen i bought is bad quality or if i'm just and idiot who doesn't know how to put on some cream...i'm a freak of nature!

so today, after i left yoga class i went for a watermelon shake and a salmon sandwich, i took my bike and rode all the way to Tel Aviv's beach (obviously not Tel Aviv's gay beach, since I'm looking like a monster right now). i applied the sun screen thoroughly and wasted there like two hours...off course i have stripes...

at least i saw a gorgeous American guy...have i ever told u i love American boys? specially if they have blue eyes.

summer song...

2009-07-02T13:54:00.002+03:00

a lot of things have been going on lately but i haven't found the time and will to sit down and post. so until i feel like posting i want to share with you a great summer tune, you can hear it in every radio in Tel Aviv and at my place all day long, Kelly Rowland "When loves takes over"

i've also added a button to the blog so you can follow me on Twitter now!

oy vey...

2009-06-23T14:02:00.002+03:00

so my personal financial situation is not the best...but sometimes i can't control myself and i end up buying stuff like crazy. lately i've been really worried about my weight, what i eat, and making sport. i hated sport...i rather watch season of House MD or Grey's Anatomy eating ice cream on my sofa than going to run. but the last 4 months, after losing 8kg, running 3 times a week, dieting, doing yoga, i've started to enjoy working out. i find myself wanting to go for a run to clean my head.
this week is "healthy week" at the office, so they brough all kind of people seeling sport clothes, food suplements, and more. they also brought a guy who sells Polar watches for working out more efectively. where is the problem here: when you put one of my weaknesses (watches, my other weakness is shoes) plus getting thiner and making your work out better...you'll have me buying a watch out of the blue, for a high prize (but cheaper than in a shop). so now i have a new baby, i hope to be thin and hot soon, other way i'm going all the way to the factory and i'll torch the CEO.
wish me luck...i need it...also the money the pay for mi visa this month.

in love...

2009-06-17T14:11:00.002+03:00

i'm totally in love of this guy i saw yesterday at the gym. the cutest and sexiest guy i've seen in a looong time. i fell for him hard. i was running and he was doing some shoulder exercises sitting right in front of me. i couldn't stop looking at him and he gave me a look once in a while, but i'm not sure if it was a "what the fuck are u looking at?" or more of a "how U doing?" kind of look.
since then i can't stop thinking about him, it reminds me so much of when i met my ex: i was a waiter in a coffee place and after the first time i saw him i couldn't take him out of my mind...it took me 2 months to make a move and i only did it after a friend of mine saw him in a gay bar so i was 100% he was gay. i'm so shy sometimes, and in this case i don't even know if the guy plays for my team...i'll have to keep working out and stare at him like and idiot until he gives me a sign.

tlv's gay parade...

2009-06-14T11:22:00.007+03:00

last friday was the tel aviv gay parade...this year celebrating Tel Aviv's 100th anniversary, the motto was "100 reasons to be proud". as every year, we first got together in the center of the city (at Gan Meir). i met there my friend Mike and his BF. after listening to some speeches and walking around a tourism fair for gay tourists, the parade started at 1.30. we walked down Bograshov street, then Ben Yehuda, Ben Gurion and right to the big beach party at Gordon Beach. there were many trucks with dancers and music and all what u expect from these kind of event (muscular guys, speedos, drags and more). i walked with Mike for like half an hour and then I switched to my friend Herman and his BF. we had some beers cause it was really hot and the sun was killing us (i put so much sun screen that my skin could hardly breath). when we arrived to Ben Gurion I met a Brazilian co-worker and my friend Daphna - who was coming from a picnic with couple of red wine bottles that i took care of-. already drunk we went down to the beach party...really hot, lots of sun, music, alcohol, warm water, hot guys...it was great. i met herman again and stayed with them until the end. at sunset there was a symbolic wedding for two gay couples and four lesbians couples...it was cute.
at around 8, we left in order to rest and eat...and planning to meet later to go out. i woke up at 12pm on friday :)
i post some pics that i stole from people's Facebook, i usually don't do this but my camera was broken so i had no way to take pics.

walking the dog...

2009-06-07T13:44:00.002+03:00

last night i finally met this guy i've been talking to for the last week. we were not able to meet on the last few days and since this week i'm pretty busy, we ended up meeting at 11pm. he arrived with his dog...it was the first time i have a group first date. we decided to walk around with her...she was really cute and small, but couldn't stop doing her stuff and he was cleaning after her (not very first date). suddenly, i see the dog smelling some other dog's "private parts" and when i look up i see that the dog's owner is this guy, i've been talking to for ages and we never meet. tel aviv is so freaken small...a really bizarre moment on my dating history (being THE most bizarre moment, the night i went to a pub and i met: my ex, my american lover, the belgian guy i dumped after the 5th date and no kiss, and my friend who falled in love with me and decided to cut me off his life cause i wasn't feeling the same).
anyway, we kept walking around tel aviv wit the dog, made a stop on a nice garden to chat and it all ended at 1am (i wake up at 7 people). of course we said the classic "we'll talk", but i think he really meant it.

queen esther...

2009-06-04T11:11:00.003+03:00

as i told you before, i got tickets to see the Pet Shop Boys presenting their new disc in Israel on July 21st. i thought it was cool, i like their music and i love their new song. plus, this year has been full of international performances in Tel Aviv, including Depech Mode, Faith No More, Leonard Cohen and more...but i was not ready for Her coming to Israel...I didn't even want to get excited about it until I had my ticket, but now I have and Queen Esther, Madonna is coming to Israel!!! I have tickets on September the 1st to see the Sticky and Sweet Tour, one of the biggest shows ever presented in Israel!

angels and demons...

2009-05-26T08:38:00.003+03:00

last night I went to see Angels and Demons with O...event thought i liked DaVinci Code better, the movie was ok. what i loved the most was to see again those great places of Rome and the Vatican...it reminded me of my trip there, the same way DaVinci reminded me about Paris and the places i visited.
but after the movie, i had to face my own demons: i had to talk to O cause things were not going the way i wanted. on the way back he said he needed to tell me something, i answered i thought i knew what he wanted to talk about. we remained in silence. he said it was sad cause he really wanted things to work...i totally understood, is the firs time in a while i meet someone i get excited about, i want to see again, interesting and mature enough. but there was nothing else to do, when "that" is not there for any of the two or both, there is no reason to keep trying.
he dropped me at my place and said we can talk and maybe be friends. i answered that i thought we'd better leave it the way it was and left.
i'm sad of course, it is not that common to meet someone interesting, but i trust things happen for a reason.
in other news, i bought tickets for Pet Shop Boys! they are coming to Tel Aviv in July and i'm very excited!

i don't know...

2009-05-24T14:19:00.002+03:00

last thursday i went to have some drinks with a friend. in the pub we were sitting i saw at the back a guy in a wheel chair (not a simple one, but one with a motor). it was dark but i thought that the guy that was sitting next to him was holding his hand...after a while it was obvious they were together, you could see the love in their eyes, and how they took care at each other.
after spending the weekend with friends, but not with O, and realizing that I haven't seen him almost in a week I understood that something is not working right...i've tried to give him his space and not to push but when u start dating someone i think the natural thing is to want to meet...meeting once a week is not what i want.
at first i took it as lack of interest from his side, which probably is the case, but i won't blame him, i'll say what i have to say from my side: i don't know if he is not interested, but i don't want to be with someone like this. you can be as busy as you want, we all are...but when you are really into someone, you look for the time...and i don't feel he does. so i rather take the risk and give him the impression i'm pushing instead of sitting here and waiting until he finds a moment for me.
i want, and i deserve, someone who looks at me with the love those two guys were looking at each other.
this is a song of the kings of leon, i love it and i'm sure u'll get why:

going strong...

2009-05-18T16:07:00.003+03:00

well, it seems that i really got an STD from O. yet, i decided that i want to keeps seeing him. the way he reacted was totally mature and respectful, he accepted all responsibility, apologized and proposed not to have sex until we are both checked and done with the antibiotics. it is not easy, we avoid being alone cause we jump on each other like crazy.
it also opened my eyes, for me the only fear was HIV, but there are a lot of STD's around and we have to be aware of it. today i was told there is a lot of Syphilis cases in Tel Aviv...I mean, I always have "safe sex"...at least I thought I had...there are a lot of diseases that you can get also with oral sex. i know, it is awful, but we have to be aware of it and use a condom...even for oral sex...

as i said, in the emotional aspect, i'm doing fine, we try to meet as much as he can (i only work, but he works and study so he is the problematic one). we had dinner with his cousin and the BF which was nice, kind of first encounter with the family...and i discovered the cousin cheats on the BF, but that's other story :)

anyway, use a condom, it sucks but it is better than your cock falling off right?

tnx for the present...

2009-05-13T09:15:00.002+03:00

remember in my last post i was all excited about this guy i met? well, things are going somewhere, but not where i thought. i find myself thinking about him a lot less, kind of lost that first feeling (and when u lose that after a week of knowing someone, there is something wrong). i think this change is cause by two main reasons: first of all, this "let's go slowly" thing, is kind of getting old. i mean, i can be tolerant and understanding...but we haven't met for 4 days. it is true, he calls every night and texts me during the day...but 4 days!? i mean, come one...when i meet someone i like i want to see him all the time, i have to stop myself from calling. what is wrong with u O?
the other thing is that during the weekend i started to feel a little discomfort down there...in other words it burned when i wanted to pee. i thought urinary tract infection right away, it is not the first time i have that and the symptoms were pretty much the same. i went to the doctor and he gave me some tests..but the results would only be ready on Thursday and I couldn't pee, i mean i could, but it burned! so, with half of the test results (the other half, the mos important, would be ready in two days) i went to other doctor and he told me he didn't think it is an infection...he thought it was either Chlamydia or Gonorrhea, I was kind of shocked cause before being with O on Thursday, I haven't had sex for the last 3 months (i know, it is sad)...and those diseases don't show up that fast...the doc told me it could be that, even if we only had oral sex, that was enough. i got antibiotics that are good for both, STD and infection and i'm getting the final results on Friday...the thing is that if it was and STD, I totally got it from him and I'd have to talk to him and tell him U GOT ME AN STD, U SOB!!!

back to the game...

2009-05-10T10:41:00.002+03:00

seems funny but my psychologist was right when she told me that people (and specially guys) could feel that i wasn't 100% present, ready for something new. it's been two weeks since i don't talk to G, and I have to tell I feel free, we have been apart for one and a half year, but hanging together at least 3 times a week, talking on the phone every day, etc. at the beginning i thought it was the mature thing to do, i mean we loved each other, we had this history together, i didn't want to lose him, but it became unhealthy. non of us could really move on.
since the day we decided not to be in touch anymore it seems my energy had changed, and people see it at work, in the street, even in the internet where i get a lot of messages now.
in the last two weeks i've had 3 dates, 2 of them unsuccessful because i wasn't interested, the 3rd one more successful...we are already on our third date, including spending the night at his place (i know, i'm a whore).
in any case, as for now, i only see two potential problems:
- he contacted me on the dating site and in my profile it clearly says i'm a top...well, he missed that detail and he is a top too. he says we can work it out, he was bttm in a previous relationship. maybe it can work, i have to give it time, but in my experience a top-top relationship is not easy (of course it is better than bottom-bottom) and i'm not doing the bttm thing anytime soon.
- the second problem, i tend to behave like a girl at the beginning, i want to see him and can't stop thinking about him...well it seems he is just like most guys, needs time, to go slow = i'm smelling fear here maybe. in any case, i was super patient with G and look how it went. i'll take it slow with O, but i know i can get tired too fast of the slow thing, if there is not change on the situation for the next week, i totally see this thing fading away.
let's wait and see, i'll update u.

ok, got it...

2009-04-26T10:06:00.002+03:00

i finally understood. after my therapy session on thursday i understood that something was off with me. while telling my therapist about my date with the father of twins, she made me notice that never, for the las year and half i have said that i´m really interested in someone, no butterflies, no nothing. i understood that the reason for it is the kind of relationship i have with my ex, we spend a lot of time together, we go to movies, eat out, friends, etc...we still behave like a couple, without the sex.
i decided i had to talk to him cause i couldn't keep this situation any longer: either we got together again and go right away to look for counseling, or we end this for good and cut all kind of communication. i dropped by his place, asked him to sit down and told him what i felt. he answered right away: "i don't want to be back with you, but i don´t want to lose u"...u can't have both honey. it was hard, it was like breaking up with him again, but in a way i feel lighter now. i kissed him on his head, told him i love him and left.
it is time for me for a fresh start.

oh, forgot to tell u...things with daddy of twins didn't work out, it was going to happen sooner or later, no shocker there.

surprise!

2009-04-19T09:23:00.002+03:00

last night i had a date, after a long time not going to dates i finally went out with this guy i've been talking to for some time and who seemed interesting, just the kind of guy i was looking for.
he invited me to his place, i usually don't go to strangers' apartments but i did this time, he explained me that he is very embarrassed in dates, and it is hard for him to meet in a public place...i decided it is fine by me, as i'm trying to be less harsh and go with the flow. the date was great, we talked a lot, we see the same tv shows, we both love shoes (and have the same number), etc. in the middle of the date he told me he had something to share with me that he usually never do on the first date, he opened his cell phone and showed me a pic of two kids... as naïve as I am, i asked if those were his nephews... "sort of" he answered...and then i got it, those are his twins. the guy is 31 years old, totally gay and has 4 years old twins! i was in total shock, i mean i can understand if the guy says "i'm in the closet", "i'm divorced", "i'm sick"...but this one i didn't see coming.
i'm trying to flow, not to take it too hard... but it is a lot to process...i'll keep u updated.

some pics...

2009-04-17T19:22:00.003+03:00

i'll tell you all about my trip to Madrid in the next post, but for now two pics from my days there:

gone, gone...

2009-04-07T11:50:00.002+03:00

tomorrow is Passover Eve...i have like a week off and decided to spend it at home, going to the beach, the gym, etc...yesterday joking with my brother he told me i should come by during my days off to say hi...and what started as a joke ended in me flying to Madrid tomorrow to spend the holidays with my little brother I haven't seen in almost 2 years...
i'll probably post from there, but in case i don't: happy easter guys!

leche...

2009-03-29T13:57:00.002+03:00

leche means milk in Spanish, and yesterday I had my piece of milk. I saw Gus Vant Sant's movie, with an amazing Sean Penn and great performances by all the cast... the movie is very good (thou a little long for my taste)... but actually what shocked me the most was to see gays fighting the same fights, then and now...it was Prop 6 back then, now it is Prop 8... it is true, the movie also shows the reality gay people was living back then and we have improved a lot from the 70's...but shockingly we are still fighting for basic rights.
i've heard Milk was kind of a jerk...he had his issues and you can see it in the movie...but i can't help to think what could have happened if it wasn't for people like him, who had the balls to fight for our rights... i have to thank him and many like him for having the chance to drink beers in Evita without worrying the police will come and kick my ass.
here's the movie's trailer:

3 options...

2009-03-16T17:32:00.002+02:00

Jewish Easter or Passover is coming and, as usual, all Israelis are going abroad. So if you are not going abroad and don't have family here, most chances are your holiday will be pretty boring. this year i'm not going anywhere i guess, i don't feel like traveling alone and my little bro (who lives in Madrid) can't have me in his apartment this time...so i'm pretty much stucked here in tel aviv during the holidays.
during Passover, jews give presents, and given the fact i'm here and alone, i decided i'm buying myself a present, actually a game console (is that how u say it?). i have 3 choices:
*Nintendo Wii, we have one at the office and is pretty fun. The thing is I've never used it with interesting games, only with the Wii Sports. Graphics are not amazing, but the gamin experience is interesting.
*Playstation 3, according to what I've read online it is the most advanced one, great graphics, Blu Ray player, and more. The problem is the prize, it is pretty damn expensive.
*Finally, XBox 360 from Microsoft, a mix between the other two, also in the price.

Don't know what to do...any suggestion?

gay tel aviv...

2009-03-15T09:21:00.002+02:00

i remember when i decided to move to israel, 5 yeasr ago, the first thing i did was to get online and search for israeli gay related sites. wanted to know how was it to be gay, places to hang out, etc. unfortunately, back then, i didn't find much information in english. that's why i was happy when i got a message in my FB account with the URL to Gay TLV Guide, a site for gay tourists coming to Tel Aviv.
So, if you are coming to Tel Aviv, check this site out http://www.gaytlvguide.com.

one night stand...

2009-03-12T09:25:00.002+02:00

after a couple of rough weeks that included pneumonia, problems at work, missing my family, being single for more than a year, and more...i'm finally coming back to normal: i'm back to the gym and to my yoga classes, back to meeting friends and going out, etc.
but while i was depressed at home i decided to open a new profile in an israeli dating site...i have one, the official one, since i broke up last year, but this one is faceless, just a body pic and a more private pic of a part gays love... in my official one i receive messages once in a while, i have face pics but i wrote i'm looking for a serious relationship. in the new profile i wrote i'm looking for one night stands...and voilá: cock pic + top + latin+ only looking for sex= more than 20 messages on the firs 24hs...i mean, it is not that of a surprise (what can i expect from a site where most of the profiles are faceless 6 packs and dicks), but that was the moment i finally understood that the chances of finding someone serious online is close to none.
i'm a special kind of gay, i rather spend months without sex, than having a quicky with the first guy who hits on me...i guess i shouldn't be surprised when i spend 2 months without sex...

i'll do him...

2009-03-02T15:06:00.005+02:00

if i only had the chance...i saw an article today about adam levine and maroon 5...he is so damn hot! i'll totally do him, whatever he wants for me he can get... yea, i know... i sound like a 40 years old single girl living with her cats...but whatever.

5 years...

2009-02-26T22:14:00.002+02:00

today it's been 5 years since i arrived to israel...how many things i've gone through, how many people (good and bad) i've met along the way, and what have i reached...it seems like yesterday, and at the same time it feels like forever.

diet....

2009-02-16T16:22:00.003+02:00

for the first time in my life i'm dieting...boy it is hard! i'm hitting the gym at least 3 times a week and i should totally go back to yoga (but i have no money right now). the idea is to go from this:

to this (or the closest i can get to this...or even better...him!):

as i said, i never went on a diet, and i see that it is not easy at all. doctors recommend to eat snacks several times a day (fruit, yogurt, etc), my problem is that in the moment i open my mouth I can't stop, so it's easier to keep it shut... but i'm having headaches and becoming i'm extremely sensitive these days (well, sensitive is a mild way to put it...i'm going crazy)...there are some morning at work where u'd better don't try to talk me or I'll take a bite of ur arm!
well, i hope it all works out fine, i lost 3 kg in the last two weeks and i'd like to lose another 3...i think is ok...
i'll post pics if i look hot...and if i don't i'll just eat myself to death.

fucking valentine's day...

2009-02-12T14:09:00.002+02:00

when did i become one of those valentine's day hater? this is the second time i'm single for this date in the last 8 years. last year i dealt with it quite fine, i just left my ex, recently moved out and in a new place...i understood that there was a reason for me to be alone at that time and was fine with it. now, a year has passed and i'm still single...wtf? i know i don't have a six pack, a huge cock and blue eyes, but i think i'm fine: i'm smart, brave, i love to spoil and get spoiled, i invest a lot on my relationship, i work hard and have ambition... how come i can't find anyone i can date for more than two dates? i'm one of those who thinks that when the moment u less expect it, he will appear...but i've been focusing in my life, work and friends lately...i haven't been looking (going to 8 dates in a year and a half does not count as looking for a BF)...and yet, here i am, alone for valentine's.
actually i don't even care about this date, i'm jew! the whole valentine's day buzz only started here couple of years ago and people don't care much...and yet, it just reminds me i'm alone.
this day sucks! let's move on to next week please.

was i dreaming?

2009-02-03T11:18:00.002+02:00

woke up this morning and left my apartment on my way to work...while europe is under the snow, in tel aviv we are wearing t-shirts...i even bought a new coat i can wear cause it's been so hot outside. in any case, i live in a very central point of the city, lots of cars, noise and gay people...so i'm walking down sheinkin street (my street), and a duck walks out of a building. i stood there looking at the duck and thinking that maybe i'm not awake yet, but suddenly an old guy walking in front of me looked at the duck, then looked at me and asked "what's that?"..."a duck" i answered..."i know, but wtf is a duck doing here?", he said. i couldn't stop laughing about the surreal situation. actually it has not been my first encounter with an animal lately, two night ago i got home and i found a cat sitting on my sofa...am I becoming Dr Doolittle or something? (my brother decided the name of the cat is "Beto").

there we go...

2009-01-08T09:06:00.001+02:00

and there we go again...war... :(
i just hope it ends soon.

new year!

2008-12-31T09:54:00.002+02:00

the year is gone and many people like to make a balance, many don't. i usually think about the year that is leaving cause, in my case, it is not only the civil year, it is also a year of my life (my b-day is tomorrow, 01/01).
i didn't have and easy year, it was the first time i was living alone, and single after many years...it wasn't easy, but i think i did fine.
i've traveled, my mom visited me twice, i made new friends, i got to know myself a little more...i guess it was a nice year. did it go the way i wanted? certainly it didn't, but it was good.
i want to wish you all a happy new year and all the happiness in the world...i also some much needed peace (in this side of the world in particular).

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU ALL!!!

hohoho...

2008-12-24T10:45:00.002+02:00

i woke up to a stormy tel aviv this morning, rain, cold wind, flooded streets, snow up north...anyway tonight we are having dinner at my place, with my mom and some friends I invited to share an Argentinean Xmas Evening dinner. we'll have dinner, eat sweets and have a drink while we wait for 12am and then i'm going to sleep cause i work early tomorrow.
merry xmas you guys!!!!

de paseo...

2008-12-21T10:49:00.003+02:00

on wednesday my mom arrived to israel. she is visiting during the holidays and my b-day.
yesterday we went to the old city of Akko, up north. this amazing city is full of history, from Napoleon to Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar and Richard Lion Heart, the city was conquered by crusaders, turks, jewish and many more.
after walking around the city, we went to lunch at this amazing sea food place...i never had so many shrimps, lobster and craps in my life.

kumba...

2008-12-14T11:53:00.003+02:00

thursday night we said goodbye to a friend moving to Gibraltar (yes, there are people living there). mojitos in Havana...the best mojitos I had in Israel, and so big! we were so drunk we had to order a chocolate fondue...that had some little alfajores too! it was great.
friday night, i had sushi with my ex and the we went to see Woody Allen's Vicky, Christina, Barcelona... not a mind blowing movie, but ok. it also made me reconsider the job offer i have in Barcelona...maybe I should move there for a while.
on saturday, given that my emotional life is in standby and i needed some action, i went with some friends to Superland, an amusement park in the center of the country. they picked me up at 10am and at 11am we all 7 were inside the car having a smoke to give us strength. the park is not very nice, except of the Kumba, one of the roller coasters. i mean, it is not the best i've ever ridden (Parc Asterix in Paris was cooler and so the Warner Park in Madrid), but it was cool. you can see a clip from the Kumba at the end of the post.
after that we went for lunch at Soho, I had noodles and two desserts (i shared, i'm not such a pig) chocolate fudge with vanilla ice cream and crunch with cookies ice cream, dulce de leche and whipped cream...it was great. i got home at 7pm and went to sleep. in woke up this morning at 7.30am to go to work!

rufus!!!

2008-11-27T14:25:00.003+02:00

last night was the night...Rufus' Wainwright first performance in Israel...the chosen place was the Heichal Hatarbut, the theater where the Israeli Philharmonic plays...it was FULL of people, specially gay people (more gays than in a Halloween party)...it was amazing!
he played for almost 2 hours, alone in front of the piano or playing acoustic guitar. his mom joined for some songs too.
he is so crazy "fagulous", wearing a really crazy suit, alternating sad songs and jokes, playing some of his classics - Gay Messiah, Cigarettes and Chocolate milk, Going to a Town, Poses, and more) and some new material. it was a magic night and the annoying Israeli audience went crazy with every song...
Beside the two pics from the show, I leave you the clip of Over the Rainbow...he sang that one last night too with his mom and it was unforgettable.

saturday morning...

2008-11-24T14:30:00.002+02:00

on saturday morning i took the bike for a morning ride. i went to Yaffo/Yaffa, one of the oldest cities of the Mediterranean (like 5000 years) south of Tel Aviv... even Napoleon was here when trying to conquer the Middle East.
from the highest point of the very old city you can look at Tel Aviv's coastal line and also at the storm that was coming.
after the ride i went to brunch and had a big piece of chocolate mousse cake for dessert while raining outside...at least i was 2 block from my house, but it was hard to ride the bike after all i ate.

i agree...

2008-11-13T09:42:00.002+02:00

i don't really know this guy, until today Keith Olbermann's name meant nothing to me. but i saw this clip on a blog and i felt good to hear the things he said.
one may think that US being the world power that it is would be standing in a different place right now, closer to Sweden, Denmark or Holland... and yet Prop 8 sadly passed. I have nothing much to add, I think I'll let this guy speak for me and for a lot of us.

team obama...

2008-11-04T09:47:00.002+02:00

as u all know today is election day in the states...many of u may wonder why an argentinean gay living in israel cares about this... only an idiot wouldn't care about what happens today in the US. i mean, we are all suffering now the consequences of 8 years of Bush administration (and by "we" i mean the world and not only americans).
i think we are living an historical moment. sure, i'd have wanted Hillary Clinton to be the president...but Obama is good for change too, and i really wish he can make it to the Withe House and succeed in fulfilling his electoral promises for everybody's sake.
also, today Prop 8 will be voted in California (and i'm not sure if in some other state). needless to say...i'm all against Proposition 8. i hope the NO wins and gay people in Cali can keep getting married (and of course if there is some cute american that wants to get married to me, i'm free)
let's all hope that tonight we have two good reasons to celebrate: go Obama!

bicycle, bicycle...

2008-10-28T13:27:00.005+02:00

after a really crappy couple of weeks i decided to spoil myself with a nice present and i decided to go for a folding bike...yep, i bought myself a Dahon Vitesse D7, all aluminum, 7 shifts, and 10kg aprox.... it was kind of expensive but i love it, now i can ride it to the train station and jump in taking it with me (actually i hardly take the train...but i could if i want :))
for now i just took it for a small ride since it's been raining like crazy for the last two days (i knew it was going to happen, i buy a bike...rains, i buy a jacket and it is hot...).
i guess that on the weekend i'll take a nice ride by the sea if the weather is ok and i'll take some pics to share with u, for now i'm posting just a pic from Dahon's site for you to have an idea of how it looks like (mine is white though).

crazy men...

2008-10-15T11:45:00.002+02:00

i'm so tired and disappointed of men (again...). i met this cute guy couple of weeks ago, we talked on the internet, then on the phone and then we met. after the date we kept talking, texting and all. he said to me he really liked to meet me and he had a great time. we met again on Monday night (since Tuesday was holiday in Israel). we talked until 3am, he showed me pics of his family on his phone and he even took a pic of me to have when i call him. he asked me to walk him to his car and as it was close to my house i asked him to walk me home instead. in the entrance of the building i invited him to go up. he said he was tired, so i insisted and told him we were not going to do anything he wouldn't want...he declined it again and told me "it's not like we won't see each other anymore, we'll meet tomorrow"... so i went home and so did he. as i was kind of drunk and annoyed by the situation i texted him and told him i like him but i don't like games, i didn't want to push, but i really wanted a moment with him alone... he didn't answer.
when i woke up, less drunk and calmer, i texted him again and apologized if he felt pressured or bad about my behavior or text message and that i would make up to him next date. he texted me at 11pm saying "i don't think it will work out between us".
are men crazy? is it all men, or just gay men? is it israelis? ...i don't know what to think, it all seemed going well but the moment i invited him to my place it was "not working for him anymore"...i'm so tired of the dating thing, so frustrated... i'd like to find someone nice, someone who deserves to be with me and skip all the first 3 months of dating...

happy new year...

2008-09-28T09:59:00.002+03:00

tomorrow night starts the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana...
Shana Tova Humetuka - שנה טובה!!! Happy new year to all of you!

horror!

2008-09-24T15:22:00.002+03:00

it's official...i'm getting bold. i'm in the stage where i use all kind of products and pills...half of my beauty will be lost...so tragic!

a little down...

2008-09-20T11:50:00.002+03:00

i've been sick almost all week, a cold in the summer is one of the worst things. maybe that's the reason why i've been missing my family so much, specially my mom. i've been working all day, then coming back and going straight to bed...i would have needed my mom to take care of me, to cook something tasty...i know it may sound childish, but that's something i could never get used to: when i'm sick (except of hangover), i miss my mom. the other reason i've been thinking about my family so much is that my little borther is moving to Spain in two days, so both my mom and bro are going thru some hard days, and the onces to come won't be easier. i just hope my brother can find what he is looking for. i've been there, beeing new to a country, not knowing people, starting from scratch...it is not easy and that's why i wish him the best. in the other hand my mom will be alone, for the first time in her life and that worries me even more. i just hope we all can deal with this in the best posible way.
of course that my problems don't end here, i've been having a difficult time in my job and, as usual, i'm having men trouble. the guy i met couple of weeks ago wants more attention from me. i mean, he is cute and nice and all, but i'm not feeling it. i tried not to be shallow and give him a chance since i'm not very attracted...but this is going nowhere and i feel bad to tell him. in the other side i have the guy who disappear after the 3rd date cause he wanted to go back to his ex...now he is back and wants to try something. i told him i don't trust him anymore, so i'm not interested in a relationship...but i wouldn't say no to sex...yea, i know, i feel like a whore ;)

bad dream...

2008-09-09T11:40:00.002+03:00

so last night happened to me one of the things you can only dream...i was in Lima-Lima with my friend G, having some drinks, talking about other gay people in the place, etc. it was hot and crowded as usual, but suddenly i saw my ex. i was shocked cause he never goes out, when he saw me he came over to say hi, i mean, we have a great friendship right now, but not as good as to sit next to me and that's what he did. next to him, the Belgian guy (a guy i dated for couple of weeks but left him cause nothing was happening between us). At my left I had the American Boy and next to him a guy from the gym I hooked up with couple of months ago...it was the most bizarre situation i've ever been. I mean I don't have that many exes and yet...they were all together last night in the party and all wanted to talk to me...what a night!

Ohhh, I forgot to tell you all, I got tickets to Rufus Wainwright!!! i'm so excited!!!
Here you have one of my favorites:

lick me...

2008-09-07T17:25:00.002+03:00

so the american boy called a day before our "date" to ask me if he could stay at my place...i thought maybe he was in trouble or something so i agreed. i think that everything in life has a reason, and seeing him again gave closure to that story...i just realized that he is an IDIOT, so shallow and immature. i always looked up at him, he is a Harvard lawyer, has a great job, lives in NY, is cute, etc...everything a mom would want. but after talking to him this time i feel i'm such a better person, more mature, more sensitive, responsible and caring. i seriously feel good about myself.
so i went to dance with some friends on friday, and of them brought a friend of his. at the beginning i didn't even looked at him, but later that night we started to talk, he offered to take me home and we end up making out on my coach. i actually liked it, the whole making out and not having sex in the first date was kind of nice. in any case, we had a date last night, he is really polite and interesting. he is really into me and interested in what i have to say for a change. he is an economist and works for one of the biggest banks in Israel doing being the responsible of giving loans to huge real state companies...he sure sounds good, but he has some problems:
- he has the same name that my ex!!!!it is kind of weird to talk to him and call him with the same name.
- he has some overweight (some 5 or 6kg), although he as a personal trainer it is still kind of a turn off.
- as most israelis, he is not a good kisser...i mean too much tongue going on, i don't know, it is like if i was his first guy, that's the feeling...lack of experience.
- he licks me a lot...meaning from the foot to my forehead...i found myself all wet couple of times already...it can be sexy sometimes but it is starting to be a little gross.
i don't know what will happen, it is always like this: good guy, not sexy...bad guy, really sexy.
why?

what are the chances...?

2008-09-02T15:00:00.002+03:00

so last night i went to my friend's b-day party...it was great! full of alcohol and music...i had a great time (and of course i got really drunk). i know today is a working day, but i just wanted to make him happy and be there for him until he wanted to go to sleep. i also knew there was a chance the American boy would be there, and actually i didn't want him too, i wanted to enjoy with my friends and have fun. i was afraid of how could i react if i see him...but in the end he didn't show up.
we decided to end the party at around 3 and i went home stumbling on Rothschild Bvd.
this morning my alarm clock rang and i decided to sleep a little longer and arrive late for work. then i remembered i had a meeting but it was too late for me to catch the company's shuttle, so i had to take the bus. i have to bus choices and i always go with the 90 from Dizengoff Center, but today i thought it would be quicker if i take the other bus. i was walking to the stop by this little dirty street, thinking on how drunk i was and i saw him...American boy was there, at 9am, in the middle of the street, looking at me...it was so shocking i didn't know what to say. he hugged me, and behave like if we met yesterday...like if 6 months hadn't passed since the last time. i was shocked and could hardly speak (well i was also drunk and it was sooo early). he mumbled some words and invited me to have breakfast, i said i had to leave and he asked me to call him.
when i got in the bus i realized i didn't have his number since i deleted them from my phone.
my friends say that it is a sign, that i was supposed to meet him, to have fun and wild sex...i actually agree with that in part, it was meant to happen, but not for the sex, but for me to close the cycle. it is time for me to tell him how he made me feel and to take it out of my system.

this coincidence just reminded me of what Paulo Cohelo (the Brazilian writer) wrote on his book "The Alchemist": "sometimes the Universe plots in order for you to fulfill your destiny as it is writen".

update: he called me to let me know he was happy he met me and wanted to see me again. we are on for dinner on thursday.

american boy...

2008-08-31T13:19:00.002+03:00

yes, my american boy is back to haunt me. if u remember, after i broke up with my ex i met C, the american boy (cute, polite, Harvard student, blue eyes, lovely). since day one i had a huge crash on him but he was clear: the distance factor was too important and he was not ready to invest time and energy in a long distance relationship. obviously, as an argentinean i sometimes make a soap opera of things, and i thought that if we were supposed to be together we would be. he came couple of times to visit me, i met him on Istanbul once, etc. last time we met (march) we agreed that he was coming to Tel Aviv for his b-day to spend it with me and i was going to NY for mine in december to spend it with him. on june i got a message from him on Facebook congratulating me on my diploma and stuff and remind me he was coming in august. couple of days after that he uploaded pics of him with his new BF. i decided to delete him from my friends list right away. i decided i can't waste my energy in negative stuff and he was really hurting me.
last thursday was his b-day, so after giving it a thought i decided to send him a message. he answered me right away saying he was in Israel and he would like to see me.
since then i'm in a roller coaster, i want to see him , sure...but i don't want him to leave me so sad and hurt as last time. i don't have any hope now, i know he doesn't want me in any way (well, maybe just for sex when he is here), and it hurts cause i worth so much more than him, even without the Harvard education and his fancy lawyer office in NY, but i'm an honest and caring guy and i don't want to be played like a kid.
i guess i won't push anything this time, but i won't hide either. i'll keep going out to gay places in tel aviv (i'm pretty sure i'll find him around the city any day now) and i'll stand with my head high, trying not to fall for those blue eyes. i'll try my best not to give him the place to hurt me again and we'll see.
cross ur fingers for me...

diver...

2008-08-24T09:44:00.005+03:00

yep, the australian diver Matthew Mitcham, took the gold medal in men's 10m platform. Matthew is the only openly gay male athlete in Beijin's Olympic Games. he is really cute, and even though i like more mature men, i wouldn't throw him out of my bed in a lonely and cold winter night.

regarding my personal life... as my Japanese friend R says: "same shit, different toilette"...i ended up things with L, it was just not it for me. so last night went out with a friend...and yes, israeli men are still as beautiful as stupid.

situation summary...

2008-08-21T11:28:00.003+03:00

so, right now this is where things are standing:
- L is totally in love (in less than a week we know each other and after only one date). texted me last night saying he was dying to see me...it seems not so much cause when i invited him over he never answered (this morning told me he fell asleep). it seems i'm not so much into him cause in other case i would have leave everything in a second.
- S: after 2 text messages that he never answered, sent him a message on Facebook. i told him that i'm not into games, i can understand if he is not into me, but i want things clear. he answered me saying that he was sorry he is having a very busy week and that he really had a good time with me but is not sure he can be in any relationship right now (?) and he didn't want to hurt me. told him that he is not hurting me...we only had one date, but i'm a kind of person who goes with the truth and i'm very open about my feelings, if i like u, i'll let u know. no games, no shit. also told him that if he clears things up, he can give me a call...no answer to that yet, and i doubt there will be.
- i met a guy last monday in a pub. we talked a lot and it was nice, exchanged telephone numbers. he looked for me in Atraf (the israeli version of Gaydar or Manhunt). last night he asked me if i had plans for the night...i said i did not...i'm still waiting for an answer.

Israeli men are beautiful, no doubt about it, but their beauty can only be compared with the degree of craziness they have and the incapability to express any kind of feelings. i'm starting to think about becoming a lesbian.

after the date...

2008-08-18T14:40:00.003+03:00

so I met S last night. my friends call him "G 2.0" (being G1 my ex)...it seems they look really alike. at the beginning i thought it was kind of freaky, but actually that's the kind of guy i like (blond, blue or green eyes, older than me, etc.). we had a beer and a very relaxed chat, but very different from L (the guy I met on Friday). With L the talk was more intimate, about personal stuff, our ex's, being out of the closet, family, etc. while with S it was more of a chit chat (a very flirtatious one). after an hour he said he needed to leave, since he was waking up at 6am. i was a little disappointed since i wanted to last longer, we walked couple of meters on the street and he said he needed to go on the opposite direction. i was pretty sure it was about it, specially when he shook my hand and say it was nice to meet me. but then he looked at me and asked "we are talking again right?", so that made me think that maybe he was into me too (i hope he is). i thought that shaking hands was kind of weird, specially after his comment that i took as a "i like u, do u like me?". so i kissed him on the chick.
while L seems a really good guy and has shown he is into me, he looks very young, he is thin, not much body hair...in the other hand S is just my type and i'm feeling like a teen thinking about him, if i should or shouldn't call, if one day is enough, if he was interested or just wanted to be polite... ohhh, i suck in these dating thing.

update: i just arrived to the office, after a two hours sleep and a looot of beers and i want to share with you that Israeli men are scum.

tired...

2008-08-17T16:51:00.002+03:00

weekends are starting to look the same...lost of booze and smoking, almost not sleeping and wasting a lot of money... this weekend was no exception, though i meet a cute guy. we had a date like for 2 hours, it is funny he works in SEO like me (and that's not very common). that same night i met him by chance in the same disco i was with my friends. of course i said hi and we talked a little bit, after a while his friend came over and told me "i'm L's friend...he has been talking about u all night long...he is a great guy, so be careful and don't hurt him". it was a weird moment (specially after the first date). later on L came to say he was leaving and asked me to text him when I'm done there, so i did and he invited me to sleep with him. i said to myself...well, i have nothing to lose, he is cute (not really my type since i like older guys and he is not only my age, but looking younger) and probably i'll get laid, so why not... i came over and we actually slept, well at least for a while. i got back home at 1pm and slept most of the day...until my friends invited my to the beach to have some beers. what can i say? it is hard for me to say no when it comes to fun.

so bored...

2008-08-13T16:03:00.003+03:00

i'm sitting here in my office, so bored i could die! i-m so bored that i'm checking who clicked YES on my on Facebook's "Are you interested" application (and i'm getting a lot of yeses but most of them are from the states, australia and europe...mmm)...
i even started to think about my old city of Cordoba, in Argentina...i miss it so much sometimes. i mean, i absolutely love Tel Aviv, but Cordoba will always have a place in my heart (i mean, i was born there and left at the age of 22). i miss thursdays evening, on spring, having beers with friends, or a winter saturday night, before going out to dance and thinking what to wear. i miss the summer storms, when suddenly the sky goes black and wind starts to blow...it seems like the world is ending. and the smells of the city (Tel Aviv smells like pee) and the food...i miss a good "lomito" at Beto's (lomito is a sandwich with meat, ham, cheese, eggs, lettuce, tomato, mayo, i'm drooling on my keyboard).

I don't understand how this post started being about men and ended up being about food...i guess they are both yummy!

weekend report...

2008-08-10T15:15:00.002+03:00

it is sunday and i'm back to work...but the weekend was good! meeting friends, drinking a lot (everything from caipirinha, beers, martini's and vodka)... i went to this party for gay guys 28+ expecting to see some cute guys (instead of being full of guys age 28+ they were all 50+...yewww). yesterday i had a date with this cute guy, actually it was our second date (the first was like 4 months ago but for some weird reason we never talked again). so we were having ice cream and i met my ex in the street...most uncomfortable moment ever! i introduced them and told my ex i had to go. of course, i was so shocked for all this that i couldn't keep going with the day and i wasn't feeling him very excited about it either, so we ended up things in the street and went separate ways. when i got home my ex called me to know who was the guy, i didn't want to hurt him so i said just a friend (actually, there is no big date between just a friend and a second date).
i was sitting in my apartment thinking: 2nd date, being gay, and not even kissing...it is like BAD! i consider myself really shy, but i always have sex in the first date (i guess that being shy does not mean i'm not a whore). so i send the guy an sms and invited him over to see a movie or something, and he accepted...we started to "watch" the first Batman and nothing was happening...i said to myself "i know i'm slow, but man, help me a little bit here i inivted u to come over, i'm obviously interested"...so i put my hand on the coach, near his lap and then he grabbed it and in no time we were making out...it was nice, i haven't been like that in a long time (some 6 months or so)...we'll see how it works out now...i'll keep you updated.

wow!!!

2008-08-05T10:02:00.002+03:00

las night i went with a friend to Lima-Lima. i was in those days when you feel fat and ugly...not my best. besides, when i was going back home i met my ex on the street. i felt really happy to see him, we actually hugged in the middle of the street like two old friends that haven't met in a long time (actually only one month). we talked a little bit and while leaving him behind i realized that i'm moving on, finally i feel that i'm getting over him. of course i can't say i don't love him anymore, it is stupid, i do love him but i've finally understood that the best thing for us is to go different ways.
so feeling better about my ex i went out...it was really crowded and it is so hot in tel aviv right now that it was too much, so we sat in the bar outside and i was surprised of all the looks i was getting, this guy even come over and said to me the only two words in Spanish he knew wishing it would make me think he was cute (well, i usually think that israelis saying "hola" to me, are kind of lame).
so the party was nice, but after two beers i had to go to the rest-room...and then i saw HIM...i won't say his name but he is a really famous singer. kind of cute, but not my ideal man...though he is famous and you know us gays...in that moment someone pushed me and i ended up couple centimeters from each other i felt i was melting, this famous guy can have anyone in this party and he is looking at me, like that! we were flirting all night long and he invited me a beer, we chatted a little but i had to leave. i know he has a BF and they are in an open relationship, and i wasn't really into that...of course when i got home i wanted to kill myself for being such an idiot! but i want to believe it all happened for a reason...(if i don't think that way i'll jump from my office's window right now).

men kissing...

2008-08-03T19:57:00.001+03:00

i've just seen a post in a very good Spanish gay blog I read (Ambiente G). in this post they talk about straight actors and gay kisses. from the whole selection they made i leave you here the ones i like the most and the reason i like them:

- Ledger and Gyllenhaal: the kiss is so intense and real, it reminds me of me and my ex when we saw the movie...

- Kline and Selleck: i remember when i saw this movie, it was my b-day and the movie theater was full...in the moment they kissed all the people shouted "yeeeew" at the same time. i couldn't understand why, it was so cool (my mom and bro were also there and i guess they also shouted with the crowd).

- Collin Farrell: I haven't seen this movie, actually the other guy looks kind of geeky. in any case, i never liked Farrell, but after seeing his home sex video on the web...i like him more ;)
- Banderas and Poncela: this Almodovar's movie is 20years old...amazing that he put that in a mainstream movie and those two looked hot back then...

- Knoller and Levi: Yossi and Jagger was the first israeli movie i saw...it was a week after i arrived here and i didn't understand any of the dialogs... but i cried like a little girl in the end. if u have the chance to see it, don't miss it.

tel aviv vs new york...

2008-07-30T09:13:00.001+03:00

the israeli newspaper haaretz, published an article saying that the cost of living in tel aviv is higher than new york. the article is based in a study presented by Mercer human resources consultancy firm that compared prizes in housing, goods, services, transport and many more categories. in the list tel aviv ranks number 14th while new york is number 22nd. we can also find moscow at the top, followed by tokyo and london.

I know that many people are living tel aviv because of the high cost of living, housing and food are so expensive here! going out any night means, at least, 100 dollars between entrance to a place, drinks, cabs...and yet, it sounds so weird that tel aviv is more expensive than the big apple...if that's the case i want to move to NY right now...

don't forget...

2008-07-28T09:09:00.001+03:00

mental note:

2 Martinis + 1 bottle of red wine + 2 beers =

awful hangover...

back on the horse...

2008-07-22T17:40:00.002+03:00

as we say in Spanish "when you fall from the horse, the best thing is to get back on it fast"...so after all my friends and therapist "suggested" i should start going out again, i agreed to meet this new friend and hit my favorite party, "The Notorious GAY" in Lima-Lima, a pub for straights that hosts this party on Mondays night. actually i was shock to see so much people out on a Monday, more over, when we where living at 2, the places was so crowded it was hard to walk...there was even a line outside full of gays waiting to get in.
the party was nice, my new friend really cool (we are on for other party on saturday already), i remember how much i hate to be in the gay scene again, but in the other hand i was happy to see different faces and not the same guys i always find in Gaydar or AtrafDating (the Israeli dating site)... of course i saw a couple of familiar faces: my ex's best friend, that i'm sure called my ex right away to let him know i was there, and few guys i dated shortly or just had a one night stand...i know, i was a whore back in my days, but now i'm almost a nun (according to my friend is like riding a bike, in the moment i start having sex with everybody again, it will all come back and the old whore will be here again).
i'm slowly feeling better, though i'm falling asleep everywhere. fortunately i'm leaving office now and going to sleep.

bad news...

2008-07-16T17:27:00.002+03:00

today i'm sad. this blog never talks about politics, economics or stuff like that. sometimes little pieces of the reality i live in appear on my posts. in the Spanish version of the blog you can find stories of when my ex was in the war, or when i left argentina cause of economical problems, etc. but today i'm sad and i want to share it with you. this morning at 9am (israeli time) tho bodies of the tow kidnapped soldiers (Eldad Regev and Ehud Goldwasser) were returned to Israel by the terrorist group Hezbullah (that took them from inside the country and kept them for two years in Lebanon) in exchange for an infamous Lebanese prisioner that killed a whole israeli family (including the 3 year old baby) during the 70's.
i'm sad cause every israeli men between 18 and 40 is in the army, i think of all the people i know there... i even think if something like that happened to my ex...it is hard.
i just wish the families find their peace soon, that Ehud's wife (they were married for less than a year when he got kidnapped) could move on. actually, i hope we all could.
and for Eldad and Ehud, rest in peace boys, you deserve it.

shopping therapy...

2008-07-06T12:45:00.002+03:00

i'm not going through my best days so, even though i got a huge credit card bill after my mom's visit, i decided to treat myself and went shopping on Friday morning. i wanted to buy not very expensive sneakers and ended up buying the most expensive ones in the Adida's store, plus a really cool Nike Dry Fit t-shirt , jeans and a shirt...my next credit card bill will be soooo big, but what to do, sometimes you need to treat yourself Carrie Bradshaw style. So today I'm wearing my new pants, and matching the lime green of the sneakers with the Polo t-shirt (also in lime green)...the best way to start the week is wearing something that makes you feel good (actually the best way to start the week is having sex with the guy you love, but it ain't happening for me yet).
happy week you all!

my boring life...

2008-06-29T14:09:00.002+03:00

i wake up every morning at 7, go to work and i'm back home at 7. i'd probably go to the gym, have dinner and be in bed at 11...probably reading. on weekends i try to clean the apartment, fridays night i meet my friends, gym, maybe the beach...and that's it... my life is SO boring! the thing is that i don't want to fill it up with a BF i'm not into (or my ex) just cause i'm bored and lonely... but i totally should find my prince...i mean, i'm intelligent, hard working, funny, cute, ambitious, young...i deserve a cute BF who is in the same place i'm in my life.
i forgot to tell that the american guy i was so much into, sent me a message saying he was coming in august for his b-day and we'd be together and stuff...one week after that i saw the pics with the new BF, so i guess that is it for us. i deleted it from my facebook and trying to delete him from my mind. it sucks :(

weekend...

2008-06-22T11:52:00.005+03:00

so my mom left back to argentina. we had a great time, i was actually afraid of having her for 3 weeks at my place but it was great...she enjoyed the beach while i worked, we rented a car, drove to the Dead Sea, we also went down to Eilat and Petra (in Jordan)... and we didn't fight even once :)
i miss her and we agreed she'll be back soon.
all my friends are trying to keep me busy not to be sad, so they took me to the beach after work, we also went to a meat and wine restaurant where i had these pieces of beef that you can cook by yourself on a hot stone (really cool). i also went to the gym and watched some films: Kamtchatka (from Argentina) and Second Skin (Spanish film about a married man that falls in love with a gay doctor - Javier Bardem). So if you want to see J. Bardem having hot gay sex..that's your movie.

graduated...

2008-06-01T16:04:00.002+03:00

my graduation ceremony was on thursday...my mom come all the way from argentina to be here with me on that special day!

harry potter...

2008-05-25T16:45:00.002+03:00

my mom arrives tonight! it's been 8 months since the last time we met. i wasn't too sure when she told me she was coming, i mean, i've gone thru some difficult times lately (with the separation and all), but she was very excited about coming to visit me and the be in my graduation ceremony...so i agreed.
i'm kind of nervous cause this time she is not coming with my brother (who speaks hebrew so he could go around the city without problem and take care of her), so with no english and no hebrew it won't be easy. plus, last time i was living in a 3 bedroom apartment and this time is only one!...but the truth is that when i went last week to take my hat and gown for the ceremony i finally understood that this is the conclusion of a lot of hard work, nights of study, a lot of effort invested and sacrifices made...and i want my family (or part of it) to be there and share that moment with me...my other guest is my ex, he helped me so much these years that i also want him there...
so i have my blue gown, my mom coming and my ex...and i'm starting to get really nervous!
i'll post pics of my harry potter suit after the ceremony...with glasses and all(but with a couple of million dollars less in my account!

...and the city?

2008-05-20T16:46:00.002+03:00

this country never stops surprising me...and not in the best way. the latest brilliant proof of israel being a middle eastern country is what happened with sex and the city...
according to reports of the local media, the municipalities of Jerusalem and Petach Tikva have asked the compnay in charge of the promotion of the movie Sex and the City to remove from the street ads the word "SEX"...meaning that the movie would be called "... and the city"!!! this is so stupid and of course there are a lot of talk backs on the local news sites against the stupid idea...but there are also a lot of comments on favor of taking out the word sex...
religious and charedim are so hypocritical! they are the main consumers of prostitution in this country, most of the cases of sexual abuse in the last months have involved religious people...but yes, the word SEX is really what we should worry about!

in any case i'm totally waiting for Carrie and the girls...it's going to be great movie!

gay kiss...

2008-05-10T12:49:00.003+03:00

i'm still going through some crazy times, trying to be comfortable with my new "single" status, living alone for the first time and stuff... and in this new phase i'm trying to be friends with my ex...we are still really close, we eat together couple of times a week, we watch the new episodes of our favorite TV shows, we meet common friends, etc. but it seems that what i saw as a very matture "divorce", which made me proud, looks weird for all the people around me...every body still thinks there is something going on between us...and i really get pissed, i hate to explain them that we are not together, that nothing happens between us...and i guess it also makes me think there is soemthing weird there, maybe i still feel things for him?
watching this week's episode of my favourite TV show, Grey's Anatomy, with the gay and the military thing going on i realized that something had changed in me. my ex is a reserve soldier, we went thru a war together (trust me, u don't want to be in that situation), and it was really hard for me...i was always afraid that if something happened to him his family or someone would not allow me to be with him in case he needed me...well, this times the feelings were different...i couldn't stop thinking that i wish to feel that again, to feel i love so much someone that i would be ready to change places with him just for him not to suffer, someone i'd be ready to give my life for...and my ex is not that person anymore. i do love him still, but in a different way, he is like my family now, a part of my history that i never want to forget...but he is not "that guy" anymore...it is strange, sad and happy at the same time.
here u have the clip from Grey's Anatomy (it has some spoilers):

give me a break!

2008-04-27T13:42:00.002+03:00

i still have mice in my apartment and i'm going crazy, the fu**ing landlord told me today on the phone he doesn't know what to do, that i'm the only one that has complained about it... i'm so disgusted by all this...i will never, ever, see Ratatouille in the same way... and it is not as if i was living in a hole, it is the most centric and cool place in the city - plus, the gay mecca - (Rothschild and Sheinkin).
i need a BF who helps me take care of this shit...and that's the second part of the problem...i need a BF! i wanted to prove to myself that i can be alone, that i don't need to jump from relationship to relationship...well i don't need to jump into a new relationship but i do want BF, i mean, i'm not going to accept the first idiot that knocks at my door, but i'm open to date! i think that since i broke up with my ex i've been to 4 awful dates and in the internet i always get contacted by old guys or little boys...nothing in a middle range (let's say between 25 to 35yo)... and it's not something sexual, i mean, if i go online i can get sex...it is intimacy, going out to eat, watching a movie in the sofa...i miss that so much!
i was sick most of last week (which in fact was holidays here in israel because of passover, but the owners of the company i work for decided that we had to work). so, while most of israel was in the beach i was working and with a cold (fever and all)...
and the straw that broke the camel's back is my mom coming to visit me in less than a month. i live in a tiny apartment (for the moment with mice), i work all day long, i'm boyfriend less and car less, tel aviv will be like 35 degrees every single day...it's going to be just great! (at least i have AC, i live 20min walk from the beach and i don't have roaches right?)

finally!!!

2008-04-17T12:54:00.002+03:00

after a long wait i got my iPod touch!!! i like it so much...it looks good and it's so easy to use...iTunes on the other hand...is the worst thing ever, could apple create something less user friendly? i don't think so...it sucks! in any case now i´m connected to the internet even more! read blogs, pappers, emails, gay dating sites, facebook, whatever i want and all form my little iPod! welcome home baby (it has a name but it's just between him and me)!

not clear...

2008-04-14T15:46:00.002+03:00

in the end the guy i met for lunch has a BF for already 2 months...i don't get it yet, he invited me to lunch, all the people around me said that there was tension between us (like in sexual tension), the first thing he asked was if i was already single and dating and when i answered i was he said "i've been seeing a guy for the last 2 months, he is really nice"...WTF??? whatever, if someone is supposed to come will come.

test...

2008-04-13T13:35:00.002+03:00

i made this test online (instead of working)... and this is the result on what kind of guy i am (just change the girl in the pic for another guy...if possible a hot guy):

The Slow Dancer

Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)

Steady, reliable, and cradling him tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The men left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal man is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.

Your exact male opposite:

The Hornivore

Random Brutal Sex Master

Always avoid: The False Messiah (DBLM)

Consider: The Gentleman (DGLM), The Slow Dancer (DGLD)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test | OkCupid - free online dating | Dating

ratatouille

2008-04-07T16:04:00.002+03:00

yesterday i was working in my computer in the living room when i heard a strange noise coming from next to my bed...actually i don't have a bed, but a mattress on the floor, and there was a mouse there! i though to myself "you can shout, but no one is going to help u" so i didn't show but left the apartment right away...i ended up crashing in my ex's place (two minutes away from my place). this morning i had to go to the dentist and it was so painful! i also bout a trap for the mouse, i mean i feel bad to kill him, but he is eating my stuff and making noise and i can't sleep in my own house! so the day started really crappy and i was really mad...plus, today i have classes until 9pm so i knew what kind of day i was having...
at lunch i decided to go out with some co-workers to a place nearby. we were finishing when i spotted the ex of my ex's best friend...he is really cute but i until the last time i saw him i was with my ex so i never thought of him as something else. in any case i said hi, and shook his hand, but he was standing there and i felt uncomfortable so i stood up and he hugged me right away and start saying that's been so long since we last met, that we should go out for lunch, and asked me to give him a call. in my opinion he was just being nice and friendly, but when he left all my co-workers were looking at me with a smile like "u have a boyfriend"... i said he was just a friend and they all told me that there was sexual tension between us, it was obvious he wanted me and stuff... ti sounds good but he is a very cute guy, i don't think i'm the kind of guy he would go for...anyways, i sent him a text message and told him that we should really meet for lunch soon (but without my co-workers who are already talking about my new BF)...he answered right away with a smiley and asking if i wanted to lunch tomorrow...i answered him like 15 minutes after that saying i was busy but maybe the day after...he answered right away saying "we r on"... i don't know what to think now, let's see what happens in lunch...

dana and wentworth...

2008-04-03T13:21:00.001+03:00

this is the new commercial of the cable company Yes...i was running in the gym when i saw it and thought: i have to post it!
he (wentworth miller) is hot and she (dana international) is funny as usual.

gone...

2008-04-01T14:23:00.002+03:00

so C is gone :( and i'm sad... i really like him, and he is very important to me. he says he feels the same way, but i'm not sure, i did feel a couple of times lack of interest or certain selfishness from him...but then he does the cutest and sweetest things ever, so i don't know what to think.
i do believe that there is a reason for everything, therefore there is a reason for me to know him...i'm just trying to figure it out, but i guess life will tell me.
i went with him to the airport this morning, we were really late so he had no time to lose...we hug very strong in the gate, i thought to myself so many things i wanted to say - thank you for all you have given me, and u are not really aware of, thank u for being so cute and helping me feel i deserve better, thank u for looking up to me making me feel i've done some stuff that even u can admire...i also wanted to say "i love u", but i knew the best thing to do was to remain silent- i only said "take care of urself". he looked at me and said "u too, i´ll write u as soon as i arrive"...and he left. last time i cried a lot when he left, this time i didn't felt the need, i just turned around and took the train back to the city.
i'm going to miss u, no doubt about it...but i think that u need to figure out some stuff in ur life, u need to understand that love is not like choosing what car to buy, love just happens and u have to flow with it, no matter the distance, the situation, nothing...just go with it and see what happens. i thought that the differences between u and me were the money, the country, the realities we live in...but i think that our biggest difference is that i do believe in love, i do want to find a guy i want to spend the rest of my life with, to get married, to have a house, children and a dog...i'm waiting for that guy, i wish it was you, though in a place i know u r not.

short weekend...

2008-03-30T13:36:00.002+03:00

weekend was so short! after my thursday with C, i worked on friday morning until 3pm and had a wedding at night. i went with my ex cause the wedding was of a common friend. the event was in a very cool place, like and old winery in Yaffa. after working all day long i was really tired and the only food in my system was a coffee and a slice of cheese. of course that i had a lot of drinks in the wedding: started with 4 glasses of red wine, then 2 Martinis Bianco, a shot of whiskey and a Vodka Tonic...i was really happy (polite word to say totally drunk) and some friends lit a joint...it was sooo hard to refuse...
I also met a girl, is not like i'm into that now, but it was really funny cause she came to talk to me and I ended up discovering that she studies in Boston, in Tufts University...she invited me to check the site and offered help, she also left me her card...I'm blown away by that place, they offer exactly what i want to study...so now I only need to get accepted and 80k for the two year program... so i'm kind of down now, I know what i want to study but it's not easy for someone who started from zero, who has nothing in the world but himself to get accepted in a place like that. I'd really like to have parents that could help me instead of being me the one who helps them...I feel like rich people have a lot of chances while poor people don't...
I really believe in signs though, in the last couple of months when I started thinking about studying abroad, suddenly I started meeting super interesting people, studying in USA, giving me all kind of info, etc. So I was sitting alone in front of the computer yesterday and couldn't stop thinking: is all this a big sign for me to go after my dream of studying in USA or it's a cruel joke of destiny that is showing me the things i can't have?...i hope is the first option.

earth day...

2008-03-27T17:24:00.002+02:00

today in tel aviv we are turning our lights off for an hour (from 8pm to 9pm)...the idea is called "one hour for earth" and it is going to help our planet (at least a little bit)...
i don't know WTF will i do for an hour without light, computer, phone, etc...it will be boring, plus i have some questionnaires to check for tomorrow's class...
the week was crazy, plus i have my american friend C visiting, so i've been busy these days. but today i decided to spend the day with my friend and enjoy a little of his company. we went for breakfast at a really nice place a i like in a neighborhood called Neve Tzedek, then we walked to the beach and went to the Hilton beach (the gay beach). We talked a lot and it was fun, plus I got a little tan and wwe got the see some gay guys (most of them turists). he is sleeping now and i guess i'm going to the gym (after seeing all those muscular guys i really need to start doing something with my body).

surprise...

2008-03-21T18:11:00.002+02:00

9.30pm, my phone rings, the caller ID gives a bunch of numbers...it's a call from abroad:
-hello?
- hi, it's me (in Spanish)
i knew that voice...it was him, the guy from Istanbul, the American guy...my heart was in my throat. i knew he was coming to israel, but i was expecting him in a week...besides, after Istanbul and the little communication in the last months i thought that things were cooling down between us.
- where r u?
- home, i said.
- i'm outside, he answered.
in a second i was outside and there he was, cute as usual, he gave me a bear hug and a kiss in my lips...it was all back there, like if distance didn't exist between us. he was with a friend, they invited me to join them for drinks...i went back home, had a shower and met them in Evita. we had some drinks, then other friend of his joined...it was kind of crowded for my taste, i wanted him only for me...we went to other pub, one of his friends disappeared...and the other left after a while. we were all so drunk, usually that's when we feel free enough to say stuff we wouldn't say being sober..."you are not my friend, there is something much deeper between us", he said. i loved that sentece, i know we can't be together, but that moment was perfect. we decided to look for the friend...but before we couldn't hold it anymore and kissed like we do...in the dark, with that passion i only feel with him. we found the friend in the toilette, totally wasted...
"let's take him to the hotel and then let's go to ur place", C said to me...i wasn't sure he would offer that, i was so happy...in the hotel we realise that the friend was in a bad situatuion..."i have to stay, he is my friend" C told me, my heart fell to the floor..."but stay here with me tonight please" he added... i stayed, we did it like we know, long and passionate, lots of kissing and looking into eachothers eyes...then we slept all night, huging as we both like...not leting the other go even for a sec.
i have a bittersweet taste in my mouth (and not because of the hangover). i guess i finally understood him and his postion; i've been raised in the land of the soap operas, i like romantic endings...but he is 100% pragmatic, in his world there is no way for us to be together, he lives in the states, i live here...there is an ocean between us...but there is also something deeper, we like each other, we care the one for the other, maybe if we were in the same place (both physically and in life)... but we know we are there, thinking about the other.

i really like this song, it's and Israeli artist that lives in France...Yael Naim, New Soul:

back from madrid...

2008-03-17T18:51:00.005+02:00

so i'm back from spain...it was a cool trip and madrid is always fun. as it was work realted i was not supposed to have much fun but i ate a lot, was drunk every night and even went out to a really trashy place. everyday i had meetings, but at night business dinners...the thing is thatin spain it means eating a lot and getting drunk...actually everything means that in spain...i totally fit in that country (except for the fact i'm jew and spanish are not much of jew lovers).
the last day i had the day off, i went to a very cool exibition of Modiggliani, i also walked around Chueca (the gay neighborhood) and did some shopping on Fuencarral street and Gran Via...ohhh i also bought some books.
so after all it was nice, sure i didn't have sex (since my hotel blocked gaydar and every gay related site), but spanish guys are not so hot anyways.
here are some pics of me wearing a shirt (not that usual), me with Leo in a party (there were even mariachis in that party) and "working".

madrid...here i come

2008-03-07T11:21:00.002+02:00

i'm leaving next sunday to madrid...it is going to be cold! i bought myself a nice coat that i expect the company to pay for, i also got my personal cards and a new phone to use there. i hope things work out there and i 'wow' my stupid boss...there u go bitch i'm not an idiot as the rest of ur department.
saddly, i don't think i'll have enough time to enjoy the gay scene there...i have meetings, business dinners and a conference to attend to...at least my last day there i'm finally meeting my friend Fernando, we used to read each other's blogs and we have been friends for 3 years...but we never met in person, so i'm really excited.
i guess i'll post something from madrid then...