last night...

last night was my frist in the new apartment..actually the first time i live 100% alone...and it was weird. taking in account that G was in the army for 4 days, i though i can move many of my stuff by myself (the new apartment is only 2 blocks from the apartment i used to share with G). while taking the last suitcase he showed up (he was supposed to be back at 11pm, and it was 9pm, so i was pretty shocked). it was so uncomfortable, i was standing with a big black suitcase and my backpack and he was standing there wearing his uniform and looking at me with his sad eyes like saying "are you finally leaving me eh? please stay"... we didn't know what to say and some old guy decided to stand next to us and ask for directions... i wanted to shout at him "stop bothering us idiot, we are saying our final good bye here"... i couldn't leave things like that, so i took my stuff to the apartment and came back to his place. we had a silent dinner and so the israeli version of Survivor... he was falling asleep on the couch, i gave him a hug and left...
it was weird to be alone. i though of many things, maybe it was a big mistake to leave him, after all he loves me and is such a nice and sexy guy...where in the world would i find someone like him...but yet again, i remembered of all what happened between us and all the things that didn't worked between us. i keep telling myself "this is the right thing to do"... but i never felt so lonely like last night...