so true...

20 Reasons You Can't Believe What You Read in an Internet Profile
1. I'm a total top.Translation : For $200 more you can fuck my brains out.
2. I'm not into kink.Translation : I'm into some sick shit that would make you run screaming from the room if I told you what it was.
3. I'm not looking for a relationship.Translation : My boyfriend doesn't know I'm fucking around on him.
4. I work out five times a week.Translation : I go to the gym twice a week; the other three times I'm working out my low self-esteem issues with my shrink.
5. I'm str8 and curious.Translation : I've been fucked... a lot.
6. I'm 25 and very boyish.Translation : I'm pushing 40.
7. I'm relationship oriented.Translation : My fucking boyfriend is cheating on me.
8. I'm horse hung.Translation : It's just slightly bigger than the average dick, but if I light the bedroom just the right way, you will think it's huge.
9. I'm a total bottom.Translation : I'm a total bottom.
10. I give a great massage!Translation : And if you want 'release' that will be $75 extra.
11. I like to get freaky!Translation : Do you have a boyfriend I can fuck?
12. I love watching old movies.Translation : I am a new Falcon exclusive.
13. I'm very versatile.Translation : Oh God! I wanna get fucked so bad!
14. My dick is always rock hard.Translation : The Viagra is stashed under the bathroom sink.
15. I'm not an escort.Translation : I prefer the term "companion".
16. Hot guy with a six-pack.Translation : If you drink an entire six pack, you might think I'm hot.
17. I have a thing in uniforms.Translation : I've been incarcerated.
18. I'm hung very thick.Translation : My dick is small.
19. No models, actors or waiters.Translation : I want a sugar daddy!
20. Not into cyber chat.Translation : I'm stupid and can make conversation.