american boy...

yes, my american boy is back to haunt me. if u remember, after i broke up with my ex i met C, the american boy (cute, polite, Harvard student, blue eyes, lovely). since day one i had a huge crash on him but he was clear: the distance factor was too important and he was not ready to invest time and energy in a long distance relationship. obviously, as an argentinean i sometimes make a soap opera of things, and i thought that if we were supposed to be together we would be. he came couple of times to visit me, i met him on Istanbul once, etc. last time we met (march) we agreed that he was coming to Tel Aviv for his b-day to spend it with me and i was going to NY for mine in december to spend it with him. on june i got a message from him on Facebook congratulating me on my diploma and stuff and remind me he was coming in august. couple of days after that he uploaded pics of him with his new BF. i decided to delete him from my friends list right away. i decided i can't waste my energy in negative stuff and he was really hurting me.
last thursday was his b-day, so after giving it a thought i decided to send him a message. he answered me right away saying he was in Israel and he would like to see me.
since then i'm in a roller coaster, i want to see him , sure...but i don't want him to leave me so sad and hurt as last time. i don't have any hope now, i know he doesn't want me in any way (well, maybe just for sex when he is here), and it hurts cause i worth so much more than him, even without the Harvard education and his fancy lawyer office in NY, but i'm an honest and caring guy and i don't want to be played like a kid.
i guess i won't push anything this time, but i won't hide either. i'll keep going out to gay places in tel aviv (i'm pretty sure i'll find him around the city any day now) and i'll stand with my head high, trying not to fall for those blue eyes. i'll try my best not to give him the place to hurt me again and we'll see.
cross ur fingers for me...