happy new year...

tomorrow night starts the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashana...
Shana Tova Humetuka - שנה טובה!!! Happy new year to all of you!

horror!

it's official...i'm getting bold. i'm in the stage where i use all kind of products and pills...half of my beauty will be lost...so tragic!

a little down...

i've been sick almost all week, a cold in the summer is one of the worst things. maybe that's the reason why i've been missing my family so much, specially my mom. i've been working all day, then coming back and going straight to bed...i would have needed my mom to take care of me, to cook something tasty...i know it may sound childish, but that's something i could never get used to: when i'm sick (except of hangover), i miss my mom. the other reason i've been thinking about my family so much is that my little borther is moving to Spain in two days, so both my mom and bro are going thru some hard days, and the onces to come won't be easier. i just hope my brother can find what he is looking for. i've been there, beeing new to a country, not knowing people, starting from scratch...it is not easy and that's why i wish him the best. in the other hand my mom will be alone, for the first time in her life and that worries me even more. i just hope we all can deal with this in the best posible way.
of course that my problems don't end here, i've been having a difficult time in my job and, as usual, i'm having men trouble. the guy i met couple of weeks ago wants more attention from me. i mean, he is cute and nice and all, but i'm not feeling it. i tried not to be shallow and give him a chance since i'm not very attracted...but this is going nowhere and i feel bad to tell him. in the other side i have the guy who disappear after the 3rd date cause he wanted to go back to his ex...now he is back and wants to try something. i told him i don't trust him anymore, so i'm not interested in a relationship...but i wouldn't say no to sex...yea, i know, i feel like a whore ;)

bad dream...

so last night happened to me one of the things you can only dream...i was in Lima-Lima with my friend G, having some drinks, talking about other gay people in the place, etc. it was hot and crowded as usual, but suddenly i saw my ex. i was shocked cause he never goes out, when he saw me he came over to say hi, i mean, we have a great friendship right now, but not as good as to sit next to me and that's what he did. next to him, the Belgian guy (a guy i dated for couple of weeks but left him cause nothing was happening between us). At my left I had the American Boy and next to him a guy from the gym I hooked up with couple of months ago...it was the most bizarre situation i've ever been. I mean I don't have that many exes and yet...they were all together last night in the party and all wanted to talk to me...what a night!

Ohhh, I forgot to tell you all, I got tickets to Rufus Wainwright!!! i'm so excited!!!
Here you have one of my favorites:

lick me...

so the american boy called a day before our "date" to ask me if he could stay at my place...i thought maybe he was in trouble or something so i agreed. i think that everything in life has a reason, and seeing him again gave closure to that story...i just realized that he is an IDIOT, so shallow and immature. i always looked up at him, he is a Harvard lawyer, has a great job, lives in NY, is cute, etc...everything a mom would want. but after talking to him this time i feel i'm such a better person, more mature, more sensitive, responsible and caring. i seriously feel good about myself.
so i went to dance with some friends on friday, and of them brought a friend of his. at the beginning i didn't even looked at him, but later that night we started to talk, he offered to take me home and we end up making out on my coach. i actually liked it, the whole making out and not having sex in the first date was kind of nice. in any case, we had a date last night, he is really polite and interesting. he is really into me and interested in what i have to say for a change. he is an economist and works for one of the biggest banks in Israel doing being the responsible of giving loans to huge real state companies...he sure sounds good, but he has some problems:
- he has the same name that my ex!!!!it is kind of weird to talk to him and call him with the same name.
- he has some overweight (some 5 or 6kg), although he as a personal trainer it is still kind of a turn off.
- as most israelis, he is not a good kisser...i mean too much tongue going on, i don't know, it is like if i was his first guy, that's the feeling...lack of experience.
- he licks me a lot...meaning from the foot to my forehead...i found myself all wet couple of times already...it can be sexy sometimes but it is starting to be a little gross.
i don't know what will happen, it is always like this: good guy, not sexy...bad guy, really sexy.
why?

what are the chances...?

so last night i went to my friend's b-day party...it was great! full of alcohol and music...i had a great time (and of course i got really drunk). i know today is a working day, but i just wanted to make him happy and be there for him until he wanted to go to sleep. i also knew there was a chance the American boy would be there, and actually i didn't want him too, i wanted to enjoy with my friends and have fun. i was afraid of how could i react if i see him...but in the end he didn't show up.
we decided to end the party at around 3 and i went home stumbling on Rothschild Bvd.
this morning my alarm clock rang and i decided to sleep a little longer and arrive late for work. then i remembered i had a meeting but it was too late for me to catch the company's shuttle, so i had to take the bus. i have to bus choices and i always go with the 90 from Dizengoff Center, but today i thought it would be quicker if i take the other bus. i was walking to the stop by this little dirty street, thinking on how drunk i was and i saw him...American boy was there, at 9am, in the middle of the street, looking at me...it was so shocking i didn't know what to say. he hugged me, and behave like if we met yesterday...like if 6 months hadn't passed since the last time. i was shocked and could hardly speak (well i was also drunk and it was sooo early). he mumbled some words and invited me to have breakfast, i said i had to leave and he asked me to call him.
when i got in the bus i realized i didn't have his number since i deleted them from my phone.
my friends say that it is a sign, that i was supposed to meet him, to have fun and wild sex...i actually agree with that in part, it was meant to happen, but not for the sex, but for me to close the cycle. it is time for me to tell him how he made me feel and to take it out of my system.

this coincidence just reminded me of what Paulo Cohelo (the Brazilian writer) wrote on his book "The Alchemist": "sometimes the Universe plots in order for you to fulfill your destiny as it is writen".

update: he called me to let me know he was happy he met me and wanted to see me again. we are on for dinner on thursday.