dangerous...

that's what i am with my credit card...since i moved to the new place i'm spending a lot of money, a lot! i just want it to look good...but now, most of the shops are just selling what's left from the winter at stupid prizes...i bought a hoodie at 8 dollars (and the original prize was 70 dollars), i bought in puma today 2 t-shirts and a sweat pant for 35 dollars (the 3 things)...i'm going crazy, if i keep buying like that i'll have to sell my body in order to pay my credit card.

already 4?

today is the 4th anniversary of my arrival to israel...it feels like forever...so many things happened... i don't know if to be happy or sad, it was the right thing to do and if i had to do it again i would...and yet, it is and has been so hard.

the movie...

i know it is sooo gay, but what can i do. i just saw the trailer of Sex and the city (the movie), and yes it is full of spoilers and yes, it looks just like a long episode...but yet...i'm waiting for it so bad!

here u have the trailer (with looots of spoilers)

my fault...

once again we are guilty...last time gays were the cause of the Second Lebanon War, now we are the cause of the hearth quakes that israel has been suffering in the last months...
according to Shlomo Benizri, member of the Israeli Parlament (and ultra-othodox), gays are the reason of the earth quakes and G-d's anger...
I wonder how mcuh time do we have to put up with these kind of people...

last night...

last night was my frist in the new apartment..actually the first time i live 100% alone...and it was weird. taking in account that G was in the army for 4 days, i though i can move many of my stuff by myself (the new apartment is only 2 blocks from the apartment i used to share with G). while taking the last suitcase he showed up (he was supposed to be back at 11pm, and it was 9pm, so i was pretty shocked). it was so uncomfortable, i was standing with a big black suitcase and my backpack and he was standing there wearing his uniform and looking at me with his sad eyes like saying "are you finally leaving me eh? please stay"... we didn't know what to say and some old guy decided to stand next to us and ask for directions... i wanted to shout at him "stop bothering us idiot, we are saying our final good bye here"... i couldn't leave things like that, so i took my stuff to the apartment and came back to his place. we had a silent dinner and so the israeli version of Survivor... he was falling asleep on the couch, i gave him a hug and left...
it was weird to be alone. i though of many things, maybe it was a big mistake to leave him, after all he loves me and is such a nice and sexy guy...where in the world would i find someone like him...but yet again, i remembered of all what happened between us and all the things that didn't worked between us. i keep telling myself "this is the right thing to do"... but i never felt so lonely like last night...

the last 4 years...

in couple of days will be the 4th anniversary of my arrival to the holly land. if i had to sum up all what happened to me since i moved to israel...it would be a boring and long post... for that reason i only want to write about some of the highlights:
- i moved to israel a month after i turned 22yo. u had no family in israel, no friends, i only talked english and had no money at all. after 6 months of hebrew studies, i moved to tel aviv, started university and worked as a waiter.
- my first day on the job i met the cutest client ever... G, my ex, we were together for almost 3 years and a half. at the time i was living with someone else...when i told him i was leaving him, he kicked me out of our apartment and never returned me my stuff...
- being a student and immigrant was not easy. i cleaned houses, i worked nights in a call center (used to work from 12am to 6am, go back home, have a shower and go to school until 4pm every day). i also worked in chat support for a site and then i found my current job...in marketing.
- G was the person I loved the most in my life (and I still love him but in a different way). we lived together for 3 years but he could never commit to our relationship...his family and friends were also in the first place, his country was always in first place (he is a reservist soldier, as most israelis and was in Lebanon war...for a month i waited for him at home...scared to dead of my phone ringing and someone telling that something happened). we started couple's counseling in april...actually i started and convinced him to join...he was there for a month and said it was too difficult for him...
-after i got my degree in Government and Conflict Resolution, we traveled to Argentina (last summer). we both realized things were not working between us...actually, i was the one who spoke up and told him we were suffering together, even though we deeply love each other. so i decided to leave, once again, my home and everything and try to find myself. we still have a good relationship and live 2 blocks from each other.
-like a year ago i started talking to a guy in the internet...we used to talk once every two weeks or so. he is from the states. after learning things ended with G, he decided to come to israel for a conference and we met... i won't say it was love at first sight, but my world stopped when we kissed on that street...this was last october, i've seen him 4 times since then (3 in israel and once i met him in istanbul). he is such a charming and amazing guy...that's the guy from a previous post. the only problem is that we live in different countries, and he is not open to a long distance relationship. plus, we are from such different worlds: he is a rich and good looking Harvard student. I'm a poor (but good looking) immigrant. i understand his reasons, but i'd like it to be different.

that's what happened in my life, in a nutshell, the last 4 years...since i moved to israel. i have realized this is not the place for me right now, i met someone i though was the love of my life, the father of my children, my future husband... but life showed me once again it has different plans for me, i left one of the guys who loved me the most and i fell in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way...let's see what the future has prepared for me :)

happy valentine's ?

today is the first valentine's day i'm single in the last 6 years...it is weird. just arrived to the office and they are all talking about dates for 2night and stuff...the company even organized a little fair with valentine's stuff to buy (chocolate, flowers, etc). last year i bought for my ex flowers...i was sooo happy when i got home and gave it to him... and then he asked me what was that for...i told him "valentine's day"! he didn't even know that it was valentine's day, of course i didn't get a present. told him that maybe we could go out to eat...he invited his friends and we end up eating pizza at my place... when people ask me why did i leave him since he was so cute and nice person (and he really is all that)... i should tell them this story.
in any case, i'm single and dateless in valentine's day....and it really sucks...

madrid again...

i'm going to madrid again next month...for work, not for fun, though i'm planning to meet some friends and enjoy that i'm single for the first time in a long time. in any case i'm still a little mad since i wanted to go to NY, to a big marketing conference. instead they send me to madrid again (not even to barcelona). well, in any case, it is still nice to be out of the office for couple of days and it's great that the company gives me money to buy clothes for all the meetings i have!

always good...

it is always good to gain new rights... specially in this country. israel is a weird place, u can see two guys kissing in the middle of the day in the street...but only in tel aviv, if u leave this city and do that...well, i don't even want to think what could happen...
yet, there is this permanent fight between religious and non religious. i understand that one of the things that make this country special, is the fact that it's a jewish state, a place for jews from all over the world to feel safe and home. i won't discuss now my feelings on that "principle", but i would say i feel israel is also a democracy. between all the democratic values i can quote i'll go now for equality of rights, more specifically LGTB rights. i'm a realistic person (u may even say pessimistic sometimes), i don't think for example gay israelis will be able to get married under israeli law (at least while religious groups are so powerful in government). but i have to be honest too, i didn't think that the attorney general would rule in favor of same sex couples' eligibility to adopt...and here we are. i have to say i was happy to read the article, but what worries me sometimes are the talk backs. we all know it is full of people against, of extremists, yada, yada... it just makes me sad to realize that there is still people around that feel and think that way, people that is raising children and teaching them that hate... at least there are more and more children being raised by same sex parents, parents that can give them love and teach them good values and not to hate the different but to embrace it and be proud. i'm proud today.

it's over!

finally! the strike is over!!! writers are back to their computers and i can come back to my sofa and enjoy all of my favorite TV shows (ok, i need to get a sofa now and also a TV...the new place is sooo empty!)

i missed u McDreamy! welcome back Hiro Nakamura! i didn't miss u much desperate housewives, but i don't complain if u come back...

miss u...

today i miss u...i don't know why. maybe it's because i've been thinking about that weekend we spent together in istanbul, maybe cause i saw ur pic in my facebook...
i know that u don't feel the same, i know u work hard not to feel the same...it is difficult when we live in different continents, i'm here in tlv and u are in boston...i get it. i remember when u told me u wanted to be in a relationship that's "logistically viable"...i can understand it, though it hurts.
i still remember the kiss u gave me on my neck that morning while u thought i was sleeping... since that day i wake up and think about that kiss...i know it's not healthy, i know we are in different pages...and still i miss u so much that hurts...
i wish u'd feel the same...

say yes...

i've stolen this clip from the blog of my friend El Glog... i know i'm a crying homo sometimes, but this clip is sooo cute...i wish i could find someone like the guy proposing...

religious gays?

well, i was also shocked when i heard about it...but there are many religious gays jews (i'm not talking about ultra orthodox...though it is also full of them) out there...well, not so OUT. i find a lot in dating sites and chats, so afraid, deep in the closet...i don't know, it just gives me this sad feeling, it reminds me when i was in the closet, hiding, afraid of someone finding out about me...
there are many religious gays that are out too... someone very close to my heart is both gay and religious jewand i'm learning to accept it and enjoy his points of view. he actually brought me closer to religion...something u forget when u move to israel...i mean, u are in the holly land, so that's enough...right? well, maybe not so much...
in any case, i started thinking about all this when i saw this article in Ynet (israeli news site in english)...u can fins some interesting views there on the issue (i should warn u that there are, as usual, some negative talk backs. the URL of the site is http://hod.org.il/
i hope someone can find it useful (for the moment is only in hebrew, but is supposed to have an english version soon).

team Hillary...

as all of us now the presidential race in the US is on. for some reason, i've been always liked Hillary Clinton...don't know...i guess that it is about time for the states to have a female president (like Chile, Argentina, Germany, etc). maybe it is because i have the feeling that women are more open to GLTB's rights and fights for equality, maybe because i live in a country where religious parties in government are against the GLTB collective, comparing homosexuality to the bird flew...i don't know i have the sensation that if Hillary gets elected (and i wish she does), and civil unions become legal in US that would open the door for many other countries to create also a framework for same sex couples and families.
i've found what Hillary said in a message to the GLTB community and i liked it, u may think it sounds demagogic, and maybe u are right...but i like it.
in case u want to read what she has to say, find the complete article here.

about...

as u can see, I'm an Argentinian living in the Holly Land, Tel Aviv to be precise. I've publishing my blog in Spanish for the last 3 years (El Chup Chup) and now I want to expand into the English market :)
ohhh, I forgot to say I'm gay!
I've finished my BA in Government not so long ago, I work in a high tech company in the marketing area and I'm starting a whole new phase in my life, back in the meat market ...yep, I'm getting "divorced" of my BF after 3 years of living together.
please join me in my trip :)

here i go again...

this is my second try to blog in English...because of lack of time I stopped doing it long ago (it's not easy to have two blogs updated)...let's see what happens this time. wish me luck!